Are you a nervous wreck?

[SoftballJunkie2]

I also am nervous - but I don't see her before the game. I get there 10 minutes ahead or so and just make sure she is warmed up enough. I keep score for the team. It helps me stay focused on the game not just her.

My sister came to a game a week ago - she couldn't stand it. She kept saying "this is worse than if I was playing". So, it's not just parents.

[Cannonball]

OK SO DON'T BE MAD AT ME FOR CONTRIBUTING TO THIS THREAD.

First, 18'sDad has some great advice but I disagree with calling out "stuff" to your dd. I've given myself a few things I think are needed to be said and I say them. All are positive. An example would be, "BB, you're doing great. Stay focused." Her affect lets me know when I need to say this. Another would be, "Nice job, that a way to get after it." The reason my position might be different than 18'sDad is that my dd has asked for this. We have never wanted nor do we want at this time for my dd to be a pitcher. She knows that. She is the driving force and so, we work very hard at both pitching and hitting. She says that knowing I'm there gives her that support. I THINK THAT IS ALSO WHY I COULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING NEGATIVE. Just a thought.

When BB started pitching, she would throw well and there would be the errors etc. behind her. We made a rule that she can never talk badly about a teammate at the field. However, when she would get into the car, she'd bust open with the tears and anger and... I think you have all been there in some capacity. When that car stops those negative things are not to be discussed again and even between my Wife and I. While some might think this crazy, I think allowing this to consume to much time dealing with negativity will also lead to burnout. Another thing that I'd like to mention. I always start a conversation with my dd, after she has pitched or played with, "What do you think?" If she wants to say something, she does and knows we're in the car. Again, just a thought.

Finally, and the reason I started this reply the way I did. I worked very hard to establish my reputation in our area as a baseball coach. I have been fortunate to have coached a couple of state championship teams and, in fact, have coached baseball on the international level. When my daughter was 12 but playing 14U ball, a decision I regret, she was drilled by a line drive. It was in the pelvis. I stood up and screamed get the out. She picked up the ball and got the out which was the last out of the game. Amazing and I was very proud of her. She was hurt. Mentally, she was strong enough to over come it. I was mad at myself for allowing a coach to talk me into the idea that my child was better than she was. My Wife and I are not people keeping stats of our child. We don't go around backstabbing others while promoting ours. Heck we really don't talk to anyone simply because we've found that a lot of places. BTW, a very refreshing change on the summer team she now plays on is that these parents are very similar to us. Anyway, when BB made it to HS, I had a very tough choice to make but due to the fact that my Wife works and can't make it to the games and knowing that BB had a better than average chance to make the varsity as a freshman, I resigned my baseball position in order to be there if she was hurt in a game. As I told the newspaper, I had to chose between the thing I love the most in this world and the person I love the most." Well, last night playing against a team that is very good and were undefeated, BB took the circle. 7th inning 2 outs 2 strikes on the #4 hitter. BB missed her spot. Line drive off of her face. She hit the ground, crawled to the ball, threw to first for the out and then screamed. You all have a reason to be nervous. However, BE THERE FOR THEM. When she called for "Dad" I knew I made the best decision of my life to be at her games. She is alright. Seam cuts to the chin, busted mouth but she had a mouth guard and the ball went off of her face into her chest and so, huge bruise there. I told her that today I'm buying her a game-face. She told me, "Dad, I have to learn to hit my spots better. I don't want a game face." I'm very proud of her. I apologize for the length of this.

18'sDad, I'll be sitting in that chair the next game. Like you said, hunkered down and not moving. I don't want my anxiety to overwhelm her.

[Tucson]

Cannonball - buy her the gameface. Maybe you don't want to force her to wear it, but at least give her the opportunity.

My son had his jaw broken by a line drive and the doctors told me that 3 inches higher or lower, would have killed him. We didn't have Gamefaces, then.

[Gone in 2.6]

I used get get nervous but thankfully with a little self training I got over being so damned
"DD focused" by 12U. Now I'm only nervous if the team has a big/important game. (Ok I'll admit being a little antsy if dd has to face Kenzie Fowler. That always sucks).

[Martin]

When my kids were younger (10-12), I used to be nervous. This sprang from a fear that they wouldn't perform as well as I thought they could and they would therefore be denied future opportunities, lose confidence in themselves or otherwise lose interest in the game. I wanted the best for my kids and didn't want to see their budding interest in the game derail before it had a chance to take root. I hung on every pitch, every swing and every umpire's call.

As my kids got older, they had more opprortunities to travel and compete against better teams and in "neat" situations (my son pitched in a AAA park and my DD played in the Olympic Stadium, for example). These games were arguably more important than the earlier ones when I was so nervous. At this point however, I was far less nervous. I was simply happy to see my kids compete. I may have been mad at an ump's call or disappointed for my kid if the game wasn't won, but I was basically proud to see my kids enjoying themselves at something they were good at.

Winning/doing well is certainly the preferred outcome, but in many ways the larger issue is simply stepping into the arena to compete and measure yourself against others. I try to focus on this and enjoy watching my kids as they do precisely that.

[pitchslap]

I'm always a wreck when my DD pitches. I have managed to subdue the urge to talk to her while she's on the rubber... for the most part. But I have to talk to her a little while she's pitching. Otherwise, she'd do poorly... I mean we're a team... we win games together... my DD and I... right??? who's with me???

[Sftbll4ever]

You are funny.

I have done a lot better with not reacting when she pitches. There are times when I am extremly nevous but try to keep it to myself. There are times I do get up and walk around. Sometimes I can see that she is strugling and I will say something. But that is few and far between.

[lakers32]

Well it is nice to know I'm not alone.

Although, I do pace and eat seeds until my mouth is raw, I have learned to let keep a little distance from her (easier to do since I'm not in the dugout this year). She is always relaxed on the field (occasionally to relaxed) and tells me she likes having me at her games. I have to work on saturdays so I miss some games and getting updates from the wife during the game is impossible, thank goodness for the other dads. Her coach tells me that he noticed that she pitches better when I'm at her games so I guess my pacing isn't a distraction to her. Inspite of my nerves, I love every minute of it.

[winginit]

All this talk about pacing has reminded me to charge my camera battery for tomorrow's games. When I was coaching and calling pitches it was easy, but as dad in the stands; I am pacing away and chomping on seeds. I have found taking pictures of the game helps me to relax and get away from the other psycho softball parents worrying about their DD's performance.

[FPdaddy]

Being nervous is just a part of being a parent BUT needing medication and therapy is going too far!

Your DD will appreciate your quiet confidence if you just sit and enjoy.

Keith