Giving up

[catdad]

No, he was just calling off the dogs.

[ECSB]

My kid got a great learning experience last year. In indoor winter ball she made an error, made a long face and was obviously upset. That brought up the tension on the field for the rest of the kids. The coach waited until after the game and then he let her have it. He said if he ever saw that behavior ever again, she would be benched - that it was never acceptable and if she made a mistake she needed to shake it off and go on. He told her something that she didn't realize - she is a quiet leader and the other kids look to her as an example. If she acts that way, it impacts the team. This coach let her have it, and she was crying and all ...but I don't think she has ever done it again. If he didn't say anything, she probably would still be doing it - great life lesson. If you are a coach and you see that, use it as a teaching experience - it really helped my daughter.

[Lunatic Fringe]

My kid goes to hitting lessions week after week and is virtually flawless. She destroys the ball, hits shot after shot. She gets into a game and I see her do things she never does with the hitting coach (usually she tries too hard). She has had her moments on the field, but she is too inconsistent. I've become convinced that instead of hitting lessions, what she really needs is to get a handle on the mental game. I gave her Harvey Dorfman's book on the Mental Game of Baseball and told her to read it. After she reads it, then we'll go back to hitting lessions. It's a great book, one I wish I read 30 years ago. Dorfman speaks to dealing with expectations, setting goals, visualization (how to do it most effectively), dealing with slumps, etc. I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to take their game to the next level.

[GIMNEPIWO]

ACE sez:
"Wait, didn't Usain Bolt quit running hard"

Correct me if I'm wrong ... but didn't I hear he would have had a new record had he not "called off the dogs"

[Ace]

ACE sez:
"Wait, didn't Usain Bolt quit running hard"

Correct me if I'm wrong ... but didn't I hear he would have had a new record had he not "called off the dogs"

Yeah, I heard that too. I was just sayin..

[dustyshoes]

There's giving up on a game or tournament then there's giving up in general where a kid still comes to practices and games but doesn't make any real sustained effort to improve as a player. My DD's best friend fits into that category, they played on different teams for the first time last season (DD played up, BF didn't) and since then there's been a gradual drifting apart in their friendship. It's dissapointing to see this happen as a parent but I guess it's part of the game and life.

[MTR]

However, you also need to remember these "pros" are scrutinized by the press. Many an NFLer, MLBer, NBAer, NHLer, etc. are ripped on TV, radio, print and the internet for "not caring" if there is no emotion shown when the opposition comes up with a good play or their team fails to accomplish the specific goal at hand. It's not right or fair, but that's the way it is and I don't doubt for a second that often goes through their mind when on the field or sidelines.

Case on point:

http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20090111/SPORTS02/901110358/1002&referrer=NEWSFRONTCAROUSEL

[DonnieS]

However, you also need to remember these "pros" are scrutinized by the press. Many an NFLer, MLBer, NBAer, NHLer, etc. are ripped on TV, radio, print and the internet for "not caring" if there is no emotion shown when the opposition comes up with a good play or their team fails to accomplish the specific goal at hand. It's not right or fair, but that's the way it is and I don't doubt for a second that often goes through their mind when on the field or sidelines.

Case on point:

http://www.delawareonline.com/article/20090111/SPORTS02/901110358/1002&referrer=NEWSFRONTCAROUSEL

Great article - Love and respect McNabb, hate Philly. Based on the comments though, my team would be dissed pretty bad. One of what I consider the better compliments I got for my team was a few years ago, we lost our go - home game on Sunday noon, the girls got together on the field after the game, said a prayer, and went to clean up the dugout and get their stuff. They got to talking and laughing as we are leaving - some coaches I know - and knew we lost - said to me "I swore I saw your last game and you guys lost - yet your team is leaving like they won." I said 'Thanks.' It is a game and I think confident athletes who know they left it all on the field, including the errors, including clutch strike-outs, including meatballs, are already looking forward to the next competition.

[Joe]

Maybe the big secret here is to keep softball fun - the more they enjoy playing the game itself rather than playing the game to please us - the less chance there is they will give up/quit/burn out.

BINGO!!! You win the prize!

With all the BS about gold classification, who's the best, who's not, chasing college $$$.

Doesn't sound fun to me!

[CoachTraub]

Wow, this is a great topic. I'd never been to this website before, but a friend familiar with my work told me about this particular thread. I'll have to look around the rest of the site soon, but first...

You all have great thoughts on this topic. Can you share them with your baseball counterparts - girls are certainly taking the lead with their mental training. A few thoughts from me:

Mental Skills (attitude, focus, relentlessness, teamwork, strategy, handling adversity, etc.) CAN be learned. If not, I'm in trouble, because I teach them for a living. Understanding how to win the mental side of the game is relatively simple, but actually doing it is far from easy. You win it when you give your BEST EFFORT one pitch at a time, accepting whatever happens. Giving a best effort requires motivation first, and this should not be overlooked. Getting lazy is common. However, it is also common to try too hard. I think I've got giving a best effort down to three steps, if the will to win is there. Every time a motivated athlete performs below her potential, the cause can be found in one of these:

1) Create the ideal state for performance (attitude and physiology - example: fun, confident, relaxed, and aggressive under control)
2) Commit to a specific and controllable plan of attack for this pitch (If there is doubt in your mind, how are your muscles supposed to know what to do, especially without conscious thought during the doing)
3) Stop thinking by having a tunnel vision focus on the task-at-hand. Reworded: Trust your stuff and just do it (thanks Nike, but 'just' is really a misnomer - it's difficult!)

All of this is easy to say, but hard to do. Mental skills, like physical skills, improve with practice.
So athletes should strive for perfection, but should never expect it. (Thanks John Wooden, you're still the best!)

Attitudes are contagious and leaders lead first by example, so mental skills snowball together on every team - in the good or bad direction.

I think you all are doing a great job figuring out how to help the girls win the mental side of the game already. I would love to help accelerate that process.

Yours,
Aaron
www.CoachTraub.com

P.S. Harvey Dorfman, author of The Mental Game of Baseball and mentioned above, is my mentor. Checking out his four books is a great idea!