Toxic Players

[Hinky]

FLGcatcher- Toxic situation h.s.
you say everybody sees it.
other parents see it.
other players see it.
other teams see it.
Players quiting the team...
Wow so much hoopla over one player... is she a Kardashian?
if you can log specific dates and times of 'un-equal treatment' like missing practices multiple times and still getting to play, while there might be a standard held to other players and not to her that would show favoritism. things like that, instead of people adding their own toxic
spineless, whining, complaining, and griping. This situation only affects one player on the team. there are still 8 other positions in the lineup and on the field.

What are the real complaints
breaking the rules per say?
How many people are actually
Making a formal complaint in writing to the AD & cc. The principle of the school? Vs
emotional boo hoo...

[jonriv]

FLGcatcher- Toxic situation h.s.
you say everybody sees it.
other parents see it.
other players see it.
other teams see it.
Players quiting the team...
Wow so much hoopla over one player... is she a Kardashian?
if you can log specific dates and times of 'un-equal treatment' like missing practices multiple times and still getting to play, while there might be a standard held to other players and not to her that would show favoritism. things like that, instead of people adding their own toxic
spineless, whining, complaining, and griping. This situation only affects one player on the team. there are still 8 other positions in the lineup and on the field.

What are the real complaints
breaking the rules per say?
How many people are actually
Making a formal complaint in writing to the AD & cc. The principle of the school? Vs
emotional boo hoo...

I am going to have to agree with Hinky. It is similar to when you want to terminate someone in a large corporation. Just saying Sally is late, Sally does lousy work etc… is not enough. Things need to be documented. The date and time of the offense and what the offense was.. An athletic cannot ignore an e-mail with these issues(especially when the Principal is cc'd) The more parents substantiating the better. It is amazing what the power of substatiated facts have. If you don't have this kind of detail it comes accross as whining and hearsay- and perhaps toxic

[shortslappy]

Welcome to the Bucket. I'm guessing that 75% of the people reading this who have daughters playing HS ball are trying to figure out which parent you are on their DDs team.

I'm the parent who sits in the outfield, waiting for this season to be over because I can't sit in the stands, by the dugout, wondering why the coach doesn't hear some of the toxic things a player says to and about her teammates.

[Hinky]

ln travel ball - looks like the consensus here is to get rid of the toxic player. Then why is it some travel ball coaches, even those that have been around for years, will let their teams be affected by its
negative effects?!
the coach may be thinking in a few months I'll drop them when the team is done this summer....yet the negative effects show families and other players the coach is inable (or doesnt want to) make a better decision. And leaves all the other players and families in the situation to have to endure the BS of toxicity.
IMO
leaving toxic on the team shows the coach is ok with crappy behavior. the coach then becomes a bad role model just like the player! Bottom line,
No excuse for bad behavior!!!

what's your thoughts on coaches that let this happen?

[Sam]

ln travel ball - looks like the consensus here is to get rid of the toxic player. Then why is it some travel ball coaches, even those that have been around for years, will let their teams be affected by its
negative effects?!
the coach may be thinking in a few months I'll drop them when the team is done this summer....yet the negative effects show families and other players the coach is inable (or doesnt want to) make a better decision. And leaves all the other players and families in the situation to have to endure the BS of toxicity.
IMO
leaving toxic on the team shows the coach is ok with crappy behavior. the coach then becomes a bad role model just like the player! Bottom line,
No excuse for bad behavior!!!

what's your thoughts on coaches that let this happen?

Lots of variables.....maybe they can't get rid of them because it is their DD who is the disruptive player. Maybe the player is extremely talented.....and the coach thinks he can replace the players that choose to leave easier than the disruptive player can be replaced. Maybe the coach is in denial that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe the coach is giving the kid an opportunity to improve. Lots of factors and I'm sure I didn't name all of them.

One guarantee: If the kid isn't that talented, they will go immediately.

[Hinky]

ln travel ball - looks like the consensus here is to get rid of the toxic player. Then why is it some travel ball coaches, even those that have been around for years, will let their teams be affected by its
negative effects?!
the coach may be thinking in a few months I'll drop them when the team is done this summer....yet the negative effects show families and other players the coach is inable (or doesnt want to) make a better decision. And leaves all the other players and families in the situation to have to endure the BS of toxicity.
IMO
leaving toxic on the team shows the coach is ok with crappy behavior. the coach then becomes a bad role model just like the player! Bottom line,
No excuse for bad behavior!!!

what's your thoughts on coaches that let this happen?

Lots of variables.....maybe they can't get rid of them because it is their DD who is the disruptive player. Maybe the player is extremely talented.....and the coach thinks he can replace the players that choose to leave easier than the disruptive player can be replaced. Maybe the coach is in denial that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe the coach is giving the kid an opportunity to improve. Lots of factors and I'm sure I didn't name all of them.

One guarantee: If the kid isn't that talented, they will go immediately.

Ah'haa nothing like double standards and an excuse basket!

reminds everybody to watch coach/players how things are at practice/games before making a commitment!!

[GIMNEPIWO]

ln travel ball - looks like the consensus here is to get rid of the toxic player. Then why is it some travel ball coaches, even those that have been around for years, will let their teams be affected by its
negative effects?!
the coach may be thinking in a few months I'll drop them when the team is done this summer....yet the negative effects show families and other players the coach is inable (or doesnt want to) make a better decision. And leaves all the other players and families in the situation to have to endure the BS of toxicity.
IMO
leaving toxic on the team shows the coach is ok with crappy behavior. the coach then becomes a bad role model just like the player! Bottom line,
No excuse for bad behavior!!!

what's your thoughts on coaches that let this happen?

Lots of variables.....maybe they can't get rid of them because it is their DD who is the disruptive player. Maybe the player is extremely talented.....and the coach thinks he can replace the players that choose to leave easier than the disruptive player can be replaced. Maybe the coach is in denial that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe the coach is giving the kid an opportunity to improve. Lots of factors and I'm sure I didn't name all of them.

One guarantee: If the kid isn't that talented, they will go immediately.

Ah'haa nothing like double standards and an excuse basket!

reminds everybody to watch coach/players how things are at practice/games before making a commitment!!

One other possibility is that early on, sometimes a coach can be unsure of who the real problem is ... Think about a football game where the one who draws the flag is not the instigator ... I fired an employee many years back and afterwards, the foreman came to me and pointed out that I fired the wrong one ... After being pointed in the right direction I quickly remedied that problem.

[curveballerguy124]

Back in the day when some of us played football there was this thing called the bullring, basically what it was is a player was put in the center of the ring and the coach would get the hardest hitters on the team to surround that player a few yards out and would toss a ball to one of those players and they would run at the guy in the center of the ring at full force... It was a form of punishment for any number of things, I remember a player being put in the ring for talking crap on his teammates!!!! Any suggestions?!?!?!

[GIMNEPIWO]

Back in the day when some of us played football there was this thing called the bullring, basically what it was is a player was put in the center of the ring and the coach would get the hardest hitters on the team to surround that player a few yards out and would toss a ball to one of those players and they would run at the guy in the center of the ring at full force... It was a form of punishment for any number of things, I remember a player being put in the ring for talking crap on his teammates!!!! Any suggestions?!?!?!

Women and men, girls and boys require different strategies when being coached ... An example would be that if you were unhappy with a guys performance, you could tell him that his play sucked ... Most often the response would be that he would step it up to prove you wrong ... Try that with a female athlete and most often the result would be " You think that sucked? Watch this, I'll show you suck".

That being said, that type of punishment is frowned upon ... You can get your point across without risking serious injury ... A couple years ago I had two athletes that just could not get along ... One Saturday I gave the entire team a choice, practice as usual or they could run a 5K for charity ... Half ran, half stayed and practiced with the JV coaches ... The two happened to be on the not running squad, the JV coach lost control and they went fist-a-cuffs ... The coach not knowing what to do ended practice early. On Monday I interviewed the athletes present, the coaches present and lastly the two brawlers ... I put one on 1st base and one on 3rd base bringing one at a time to the rubber to tell their own side of the story ... The stories were very similar and I realized that these gals didn't really know why they hated each other ... (One was a black girl, one white, one wealthy, one less so, one a Freshman, one a Senior - both similar talent vying for similar positions) ... I brought them together at the rubber and had each of them, one at a time tell the other something about themselves that the other gal didn't know ... Boyfriend, girlfriend, parents, siblings, divorces, separations etc etc ... After 10 minutes they were realizing they had more in common than they did differences ... After they were giggling and smiling a little I tied them together like a three legged race and had them run hills for 10 minutes ... For the rest of the year they were made to be each others partner for T work, throwing, ball every days,clean ups, work outs, bathroom partner etc etc ...

[Skarp]

ln travel ball - looks like the consensus here is to get rid of the toxic player. Then why is it some travel ball coaches, even those that have been around for years, will let their teams be affected by its
negative effects?!
the coach may be thinking in a few months I'll drop them when the team is done this summer....yet the negative effects show families and other players the coach is inable (or doesnt want to) make a better decision. And leaves all the other players and families in the situation to have to endure the BS of toxicity.
IMO
leaving toxic on the team shows the coach is ok with crappy behavior. the coach then becomes a bad role model just like the player! Bottom line,
No excuse for bad behavior!!!

what's your thoughts on coaches that let this happen?

Lots of variables.....maybe they can't get rid of them because it is their DD who is the disruptive player. Maybe the player is extremely talented.....and the coach thinks he can replace the players that choose to leave easier than the disruptive player can be replaced. Maybe the coach is in denial that there is a problem that needs to be addressed. Maybe the coach is giving the kid an opportunity to improve. Lots of factors and I'm sure I didn't name all of them.

One guarantee: If the kid isn't that talented, they will go immediately.

Ah'haa nothing like double standards and an excuse basket!

reminds everybody to watch coach/players how things are at practice/games before making a commitment!!

One other possibility is that early on, sometimes a coach can be unsure of who the real problem is ... Think about a football game where the one who draws the flag is not the instigator ... I fired an employee many years back and afterwards, the foreman came to me and pointed out that I fired the wrong one ... After being pointed in the right direction I quickly remedied that problem.

I obviously can't speak for all situations, but in my experience if a player is toxic it manifests itself not only in her interactions with her teammates (which a coach may or may not personally witness), but also in her performance and demeanor on the practice field and in competition. The source of toxicity is typically narcissism at some level or another--a feeling of personal entitlement that absolves one from playing by the same rules, putting in the same effort, reciprocating kindness and respect, etc.--and that species of flawed character almost inevitably shows up on the field.