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I hear what you are saying but totally disagree. This thought process is antiquated. I feel like you have either been out of the game for a long time or have been speaking to someone that has. Even though that sounds like an attack, I am moreso verbalizing my guess as to where that type of thinking is coming from.
Way way too many coaches are wolves in sheep's clothing. Even with doing your due diligence many ill-equipped coaches try tirelessly to hide the truth long enough to get you and your daughter on board and then right when the honeymoon is over they act like they own your child while she is on "their field. Sorry coach, that is my kid. I don't see you at their school events. I don't see you at the doctors office when they are sick. I don't see you standing their with your checkbook out ready to pay for their college if they don't get an athletic or academic scholarship. That is my kid and my responsibility. I allow you to coach my daughter and that is an honor. And for me, it is an honor for my daughter to play for a coach deserving of trust and respect, mainly because it is nearly impossible to find. Great coaches don't need to focus on this kinda doodoo because in my opinion, alot of what makes them great is that they understand the dynamics and prove or have proven time and time again that they are worthy of trust. It is my job to stay out of the way when a real coach is coaching. But you must earn that respect over time, not just with a title.
You state that a parents most important role is to teach them to be a good person, but not to be the manager of their sports career. How about stepping back and thinking about what "teaching someone to be a good person" means and what it takes to accomplish that. Does that mean that you teach them to fulfill their commitments even when the other side of that commitment doesn't live up to their end? Does that mean never speaking up when you see something wrong because its not nice to push back? And if you were raised to be a "good person" do you as a parent allow a a coach to mislead or mistreat your child because your kid "made a commitment" and should "always accept the consequences of the decisions that [you] make."
Our role as parents can not be chalked up to a one-liner. And in my opinion it does include managing their sports path at a young age. Because if we aren't managing it then who is? Are you assigning a quasi-random man or women, that you truly barely know, with the responsibility of designing a major portion of their development? You got some 'splaining to do Lucy![/quote]
Mission Accomplished !