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No deal breaker?

What's on your mind?

by Zoran » Wed Nov 13, 2019 2:08 pm

Follow up question to the posters who say once they join a team it's a commitment for the year.
Is there no deal-breaker for you?
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by jonriv » Wed Nov 13, 2019 8:58 pm

Gosh is a sexual predator
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by GURULE18 » Thu Nov 14, 2019 3:35 am

If the Coach cant coach! Keeps cancelling practices for other priorities. If your coaching travel your team is your priority! Keeps asking for more money...its your daughters development and it's your money so wherever is the best fit for what you want to get out of travel ball...
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by xyzdude » Thu Nov 14, 2019 8:14 am

Follow up question to the posters who say once they join a team it's a commitment for the year.
Is there no deal-breaker for you?


There are certain things that are understood when you join a team (at any age or level) that would be deal breakers for me:
-are the players safe
-is the environment appropriate for the age
-are the finances on the level

There are certain things that would not have been reasons that I would have let my child quit a team for:
-playing time
-position
-schedule
-demeanor of the coach/assistants
-things not being quite as good as advertised (are they ever)
-competitiveness of the team

We lived by this code because for us, sports is about learning how to live and thrive in the real world and we were always primarily concerned with helping our kids learn to be good people even if it may have set them back in their development as a player (or an actor, or a musician, or a student or an employee, or any of the other things my kids pursued). This requires the ability to see your kid be treated unfairly or not be the favored person all the time - that is how life works and we felt it was important to learn that fact even if it wasn't easy. One of our favorite expressions (and it became almost a family motto) is, "life's tough - get a helmet". Perhaps we were bad parents because we didn't let our kids quit in certain situations where they weren't being treated fairly - but from the rearview mirror I think that they are better people because of it. Just my opinion.
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by Zoran » Thu Nov 14, 2019 8:29 am

xyzdude wrote:
Follow up question to the posters who say once they join a team it's a commitment for the year.
Is there no deal-breaker for you?


There are certain things that are understood when you join a team (at any age or level) that would be deal breakers for me:
-are the players safe
-is the environment appropriate for the age
-are the finances on the level

There are certain things that would not have been reasons that I would have let my child quit a team for:
-playing time
-position
-schedule
-demeanor of the coach/assistants
-things not being quite as good as advertised (are they ever)
-competitiveness of the team

We lived by this code because for us, sports is about learning how to live and thrive in the real world and we were always primarily concerned with helping our kids learn to be good people even if it may have set them back in their development as a player (or an actor, or a musician, or a student or an employee, or any of the other things my kids pursued). This requires the ability to see your kid be treated unfairly or not be the favored person all the time - that is how life works and we felt it was important to learn that fact even if it wasn't easy. One of our favorite expressions (and it became almost a family motto) is, "life's tough - get a helmet". Perhaps we were bad parents because we didn't let our kids quit in certain situations where they weren't being treated fairly - but from the rearview mirror I think that they are better people because of it. Just my opinion.


Maybe I'm just confused but seems like a conflict in this.
On this deal breaker list
is environment appropriate for the age? is it safe?

Then reasons not leave include
schedule and demeanor of coaches.

What then is the appropriate environment if it excludes the schedule and the demeanor of the coaches?
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by orange socks » Thu Nov 14, 2019 8:36 am

Zoran,

Apparently you have a beef with the team your DD is on, and you are ready to leave. Spill the beans so we can all chime in. This will result in a more productive dialogue that might help you with your decision to leave or stay.
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by Zoran » Thu Nov 14, 2019 8:44 am

orange socks wrote:Zoran,

Apparently you have a beef with the team your DD is on, and you are ready to leave. Spill the beans so we can all chime in. This will result in a more productive dialogue that might help you with your decision to leave or stay.


To be clear. This is a discussion.
No one is at fault. Asking questions and giving opinions is part of it. That narrow thought process of yours went directly to me pining about my kid on the team but that's not the case at all.
Recognize you are wrong.
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by centurian » Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:01 am

Deal breaker when coach is a liar or proves they dont know how to keep team going month to month.
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by xyzdude » Thu Nov 14, 2019 11:37 am

Maybe I'm just confused but seems like a conflict in this.
On this deal breaker list is environment appropriate for the age? is it safe?

Then reasons not leave include
schedule and demeanor of coaches.

What then is the appropriate environment if it excludes the schedule and the demeanor of the coaches?


Schedule - you join a team and discover that the schedule doesn't include events you think the team should be in. Or you join a team and they go to the "right" events but are not on the "right" fields. In my opinion, this should have been part of your decision in the first place. This would be different from a coach who promises a specific schedule and that contributes to your decision to join the team and after joining the team you find that the coach misrepresented the schedule the team would play - to me that is a financial deception and could be a deal breaker for sure. There are many variations of this theme.

Demeanor of coaches - if your daughter doesn't like a yeller and you put her on a team with a yeller - that's on you and you should tough it out till the end of your commitment (which could mean the end of the fall season or the end of the summer season). Again, part of your selection process should be making sure that the coach's style fits with your child.

Age Appropriate Environment - if you put your daughter on a team and the team activities are not age appropriate for your daughter and your family - that could be a deal breaker. For example, if the players crack open beers in the hotel room following a tough day at the fields, and it is a 14U team - maybe this is the wrong environment.

The bottom line however is that most folks are looking to leave a team because of playing time. If this is one of your triggers, you should address it before you join a team. Not many good coaches will promise anyone playing time and if that is what you are looking for, you may be going about this in the wrong way for your daughter. You may end up holding her back because of your perception of adequate playing time. I was always happy to speak to a player (and her parents) about development and playing time. I would never speak to any parents about anyone else's child. It amazed me that 90% of the time the parent's questions involved another player - "why is Betty playing ahead of my Veronica, she's not any better" or "my Veronica has more RBIs with runners in scoring position on odd numbered days so why isn't she hitting higher in the batting order" rather than, "what could my Veronica do to get more playing time".
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by Zoran » Thu Nov 14, 2019 12:25 pm

Xyzdude from reading your previous posts well thought out responses.
New you could handle the questions well. Things are not black and white.
Specifics like you detailed out line and define deal-breaker.
After reading past posts under other discussions on HB few of the mentality here is you have to make a commitment no matter what. Wanted to find out if anybody has a no deal breaker
mentality. Or do we really all have something in common and that's a break it off point?
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