Some advice to the folks in the recruiting process

[DonnieS]

I am going to pass on something I learned that will be helpful to some people. I have one kid through the recruiting process, a senior, and one that is a freshman thats starting out. My older daughter was seen last year at the Ronald McDonald tournament, lots of exciting things happened and she verballed to her dream school. I was proud of what happened, trust me, a lot of lucky things happened for the coach to be in the right place, etc, etc. but nevertheless, it happened.

We made the mistake, my daughter was so happy she told her friends, coaches, etc. at school, I did the same, its a big deal for our family, our school and our community. What came out of this was really one big thing, jealousy. Instead of doing what I did when other kids were honored for something, which was be happy for them and tell them how proud I was of them, they turned on us. There was so much jealousy crap from people we thought were friends, some of the worst from some school coaches. I heard from some people, instead of 'wow, thats so cool', what I heard was different. Some school coaches turned catty as hell, my guess is they didnt get this opportunity, so they wanted to cause hell for her. There were some that were very proud of her - but the others amazed me.

My suggestion is that when this starts happening, keep it quiet, keep it to yourselves. If anything like this happens for the younger daughter, thats the way we will play it this time.

Please hear me, if you are going to have problems, this is a great one, but handle it better than I did.

[sb junkie]

Sorry to hear that,but congrats.That's a great a accomplishment.Our only mistake was telling her T.B. coaches.Playing time dropped,They wanted to showcase the non-signed players.I understand that,but a dedicated s.b. player wants toplay every inning.the big picture is that she's going to a great school.good luck

[DonnieS]

>>Our only mistake was telling her T.B. coaches.<<

She's safe there, even though her TB coach is the biggest jerk in Texas.

[Tucson]

That is a story I hadn't heard before. I wonder if it would have been different if she had been a guy?

Oh, well. I would be tempted to tell them to go pound sand.

My husband used to have a powerful job. You can believe that we had more "friends" than we knew what to do with. Once he left that office, it seems that a lot of people lost our phone number.

But for a 17 YO to be treated the way you are telling us is unfriggin' believable.

[smovie]

When my daughter signed we kept it low-key , just signed at home. She did tell the high school coaches, BIG MISTAKE. This was a very good D-1 school. She was the first to sign (full-ride) at her school (this was the first graduating class) The coaches started first with oh you think your better than the rest of us because you signed with a school , followed by the 90 % of the team turning on her. Removing her from captain because of she had hurt her back and was going to be out for 10 days. They lost a big game and coachtold the team we lost the game because was she injured. Not we should have played better. She ended up quiting 1/2 thru her senior year.She had never quit anything ever, but this was the right choice. My daughter worked so hard to get into College And instead of saying good job all she got alot of crap. If we had to do it all over again she would not have played her HS ball Senior year.

[DonnieS]

>> But for a 17 YO to be treated the way you are telling us is unfriggin' believable. <<

Its not all bad, but some people went out of their way. Like my daughter told me, 'there is a reason for this, and it will make me tougher'.

We were warned back when it started by one family from in the city, he said 'be careful, there are a lot of haters out there'. I thought he was exagerating, but I will thank him next time I see him.

Some of the coaches that went to the same school were so proud of her, and some of our high school opponents have made it a point to high - five her, everytime we see them.

But we learned our lesson, we will tone it down big time (if there is a next time).

>> The coaches started first with oh you think your better than the rest of us because you signed with a school <<

Thats what I am talking about, everytime she would make a mistake (and she makes her share)
one of the coaches "whose kid is still waiting for the phone call", went out of his way to say ' my daughter never made those mistake, etc etc.' Its gotten to be real old.

[3Bsnag]

She's safe there, even though her TB coach is the biggest jerk in Texas.

You are talking about her old TB coach right?

The new one looks big and mean.

[DonnieS]

She's safe there, even though her TB coach is the biggest jerk in Texas.

You are talking about her old TB coach right?

The new one looks big and mean.

I am talking about the TB coach she has played for for the last 3 years.

[edited to add] Just to squash any rumors, I am the TB coach she has played for for the last 3 years.

[vmfranco]

I am very rarely on this site - but when I am - I make it a point to read all of the posts to catch up on the gossip....I have to say thanks to you - this is a great piece of advice - I would have never thought that people would be that way - I find the softball community to be cut throat - but not at the expense of a kid - I guess I was wrong - it happens...
Good luck and congrats to your oldest - mine is only 10 - but one day...one day...she will be there too - and we will just be silent about it!

[Hitmechanic]

>>Our only mistake was telling her T.B. coaches.<<

She's safe there, even though her TB coach is the biggest jerk in Texas.

Maybe, but you would only be the second biggest in LA. Most everyone in our area is proud when any DD gets a major offer (or a minor for that matter)...except maybe the crapping DC's of the crappy DD's.