DD's last year of rec, she'd been taking pitching lessons for a few months and had a little pace on her pitches.
Regular ump doesn't show up, so the park sends out a staffer to call the game. He shows up with no equipment, not even a mask. "Just a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds", says he.
So DD takes the circle, he flinches when he sees the pitches, and adopts the "look and duck" method of calling balls and strikes - takes position behind the C, watches the initial trajectory of the pitch, then ducks his head down behind the C... when he hears the ball hit the glove, he comes up and calls the pitch.
Sure enough, count goes to 3-2, DD pitches, ump ducks, balls hits glove, he comes up and calls "Ball four", sends the girl to first.
Well the two coaches looked at each other, then laughed and went over to the guy and explained that the girl had swung and missed, so it was really strike three. The guy insisted he was right, but eventually the coaches won out and the girl went back to the dugout.
Fortunately, he then took the coaches suggestion and called the rest of the game from behind the circle.
