Things you never say to your wife

[GSB]

My wife and I went to the LA Fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said,

'THIS BULL MATED
50 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs ...Smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last
year.' We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said,

''THIS
BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST
YEAR'

My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW~~That's more than twice a week! ..........You could learn a lot from him..' We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that
said, in capital letters,

'THIS BULL
MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'

My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day. You could really learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'

My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable, and I should eventually make a full
recovery.

[2fatoverdaplate]

My wife had started a new diet. Conversation went like this:

Wife--- I have been on a new diet for the last 3 weeks.

Me----- Is it working?

Wife---- Yes! I lost 13 pounds.

Me------ Well......If you'll look behind you, you"ll find it!

Why did I say that? I woke up in the hospital with both eyes beat shut!