The kid out there

[DonnieS]

Dads - and wannabe or shouldbe dads - heard something today you should listen to. Met a nice clean cut young man at work a few weeks ago, a couple of days ago, he was looking at pictures of my kids on my desk - they were in their team uniforms - I was telling him about coaching them - and all the crazyiness of team sports, spending weekends chasing tournaments, etc. He was real quiet for a few days, today I asked him about his time as a kid, what sports, positions, stuff like that. He didnt say anything at first - and then said "Sir, my dad left when I was little and never came back - I spent my time being the tough guy and running with the other tough guys. I wanted to play sports - but the other kids screamed at me cause I didnt know anything about how to play - where to be - how to catch - I was so embarrasssed that I didnt know how to do that stuff, my dad didnt teach me, so I just decided to be tough - because I hated my dad so much for being gone. In school I never lasted more than 6 weeks in any sport - you know why? Because thats how long it is until your grades come out - and I would be flunking cause I didnt really care and neither did anyone else."
Broke my heart listening to him - those of you who coach - remember the kid who wasnt that good but always hung around you after practice, helping to pick up and asking questions. What if it was that kid ? Lets all try hard to make sure we dont ignore those kids that might be on the fringes.

[fastpitchdad05]

Dads - and wannabe or shouldbe dads - heard something today you should listen to. Met a nice clean cut young man at work a few weeks ago, a couple of days ago, he was looking at pictures of my kids on my desk - they were in their team uniforms - I was telling him about coaching them - and all the crazyiness of team sports, spending weekends chasing tournaments, etc. He was real quiet for a few days, today I asked him about his time as a kid, what sports, positions, stuff like that. He didnt say anything at first - and then said "Sir, my dad left when I was little and never came back - I spent my time being the tough guy and running with the other tough guys. I wanted to play sports - but the other kids screamed at me cause I didnt know anything about how to play - where to be - how to catch - I was so embarrasssed that I didnt know how to do that stuff, my dad didnt teach me, so I just decided to be tough - because I hated my dad so much for being gone. In school I never lasted more than 6 weeks in any sport - you know why? Because thats how long it is until your grades come out - and I would be flunking cause I didnt really care and neither did anyone else."
Broke my heart listening to him - those of you who coach - remember the kid who wasnt that good but always hung around you after practice, helping to pick up and asking questions. What if it was that kid ? Lets all try hard to make sure we dont ignore those kids that might be on the fringes.

In my book there aren't a lot of good coaches out there because most of them think that the measure of success as a coach is solely about winning.

I'm betting that in my book you would be a good coach. And I'll bet your teams win more than they lose, too.

Thanks for sharing that story.

One more thing...If I were you I might also let that young man know that although you understand and feel for him, that at a certain point in everyone's life they have to bury the past and move on.

No excuses. That's what I teach my kids anyway.

[DonnieS]

One more thing...If I were you I might also let that young man know that although you understand and feel for him, that at a certain point in everyone's life they have to bury the past and move on.

No excuses. That's what I teach my kids anyway.

I am going to find the right time - I've only known the guy a short while so I want to make sure I dont come across as 'lecturing' him. Something else I wonder - where is dad ? Did he die somewhere alone, or something? Is he one one of those guys you see stumbling along the road, crying , talking to himself. I've worked in food banks and stuff and would see guys that were always drunk and depressed and I would wonder ' did this guy walk away from a family somewhere along the way '. You get a little older and you think about this stuff.