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Just some free advice from kids

Off topic. Home for jokes and other misc. stuff.
Keep it reasonable.

by Battle » Wed Apr 30, 2014 6:47 pm

1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. - Michael, 14

3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. - Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9

5. Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13

6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13

7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10

8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
- Taylia, 11

9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14

10. Don’t sneeze in front of mom when you’re eating crackers.
- Mitchell, 12

11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9

12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9

13. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9

14. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
-Kellie, 11

15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15

16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9

17. Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10

18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom
when she’s on the phone. - Alyesha, 13

19. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8

What would/did your kid say at these ages?
We herd sheep, we drive cattle, we lead people. Lead me, follow me, or get out of my way!
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by hit4power » Wed Apr 30, 2014 7:06 pm

Throwing myself under the bus..."Don't go in the bathroom - Dad was just in there"
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by Safebyahare » Wed Apr 30, 2014 7:10 pm

When she was young we would put mustard on her tongue when she said a bad word or was disrespectful.
One day after putting mustard on her tongue, she said "the mustards not working". (fail)
She does like spicy food.
I see further, because I stand on the shoulders of giants
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by Hollow Grind » Wed Apr 30, 2014 10:06 pm

When DD was four:

"Why do you think God gave you two ears and one mouth?"

"Because two mouths are uggily?"
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by DonnieS » Thu May 01, 2014 6:58 am

I'm passing this list onto my grandkids. :D

Battle wrote:1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10

2. When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don’t answer him. - Michael, 14

3. Never tell your mom her diet’s not working. - Michael, 14

4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9

5. Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13

6. Don’t squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13

7. Don’t pull dad’s finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10

8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
- Taylia, 11

9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14

10. Don’t sneeze in front of mom when you’re eating crackers.
- Mitchell, 12

11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
- Andrew, 9

12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.
- Kyoyo, 9

13. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
- Armir, 9

14. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
-Kellie, 11

15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.
- Naomi, 15

16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9

17. Don’t pick on your sister when she’s holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10

18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom
when she’s on the phone. - Alyesha, 13

19. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8

What would/did your kid say at these ages?
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