TEXAS COWBOY

[Bleacher Creature]

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A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing
the Texas plains without water. His horse has already
died of thirst...

He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has
breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he
sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards
ahead of him.

He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and
discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.

He opens it, and out pops a genie.

But this is no ordinary genie.

She is wearing an FEMA (Federal Emergency
Management Agency) ID badge and a dull
gray dress.

There's a calculator in her pocketbook.

She has a pencil tucked behind one ear.

'Well, cowboy,' says the genie... 'You
know how I work....You have three
wishes.'

'I'm not falling for this.' said the cowboy...
'I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie.'

'What do you have to lose? You've got
no transportation, and it looks like you're
a dead man anyway!'

The cowboy thinks about this for a minute,
and decides that the genie is right.

'OK!, I wish I were in a beautiful oasis with
plenty of food and drink.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most lovely,
lush oasis he has ever seen, and he is
surrounded with jugs of wine and platters
of delicacies.

'OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish.'

'My second wish is that I was rich beyond my
wildest dreams.'

***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by
treasure chests filled with rare gold coins
and precious gems.

'OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more
wish. Better make it a good one!'

After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy
says...

'I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful
women will want and need me...'

***POOF***

He's turned into a tampon.

The moral of this story:

If the government offers you anything,
there's going to be a string attached.