The Talking Alarm Clock
After closing time at the bar, the drunk Mayor was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
"What's up with the big brass gong?" one of his guests asked.
"It's not a gong. It's a talking clock," the drunk Mayor replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup," replied the Mayor.
"How's it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch," the Mayor replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. The three stood looking at one another for a moment.
Suddenly a voice on the other side of the wall screamed....
"You a**hole! It's three-fifteen in the morning!"
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