You know ur a red neck when

[DonnieS]

Hare-larious Next up dozens of sister/cousin/wife ones please

Every Southerner knows the difference between a Redneck, a Good old boy & poor white trash, however the rest of the country doesn't

So true, but so what.

[jonriv]

Hare-larious Next up dozens of sister/cousin/wife ones please

Every Southerner knows the difference between a Redneck, a Good old boy & poor white trash, however the rest of the country doesn't

There's a difference??

[Pale Rider]

Hare-larious Next up dozens of sister/cousin/wife ones please

Every Southerner knows the difference between a Redneck, a Good old boy & poor white trash, however the rest of the country doesn't

There's a difference??

Been in your neck of the woods Amigo...
I wouldn't cast nary a stone if I were you....

[jonriv]

"People in grass houses should not get stoned"

Not many rednecks in my part of the state- my town is more on the Preppy side( save an alligator, eat a preppy!)

[Pale Rider]

Oh dont worry...we make fun of them also...oughta see the Bamer vs Barner arguments...or LSUs fans

But what I call a redneck is different than you may...

I know some Rednecks...that if / when a major catastrophe hits...They'll live quite well...wont really notice...

Have a retired military Buddy...Viet Nam vet...He'd classify as a Redneck to you probably...
He only eats what he grows or kills...be it deer or a cow, hog or chicken...own veggies, ever his own spices and herbs...(and not that kind of herb)...makes his own flour...homegrown eggs...
If you've never eaten food prepared that way...You should...its amazing...
Homemade bacon, free range eggs and cats head biscuits...homegrown cane syrup...OMG

Has a water well...does use electricity for A/C and a well water pump...but can do without it by design...
Only things he buys are toilet paper, coffee, some soaps, ...sometimes sugar...(shine is easier that way)
Owes nobody a dollar...owns about 400 acres of land...has 3 big ponds on it
Hes good to go...

[Pale Rider]

Old story...about what'd be referred to as a Redneck kid...

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it goes down?

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really wasn't any fire danger. I’ll put it this way -a set of post hole diggers and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I look over under the carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether).The light bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump.

I thought it would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner. .. Let’s face it... . To a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really doesn't "sound" flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex (black powder for muzzle loader rifles) to add to the excitement.

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie...1lb pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you know? You know what? Screw that. I’m going back in the house for the other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now we're cookin'.

I stepped back about 15 ft and lit the 2-stroke arrow. I drew the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my dad getting out of the truck... He just got home from work. So help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can.

My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with that look in his eyes. I turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of pyrodex and into the can.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex jerk back from 235 decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE!

There was a big sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture.

Notice I said "was".

That mother got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes with my Thunder cats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback – ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE!! CEASE FIRE!!!!!

His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3 wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don’t know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea. I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again.

Thanks mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump again. Mom had been griping about that thing for years and dad never did anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And I still have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the beating. Or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into archery...Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later on in life. Something they won't learn in school.
_________________________

[Dugout Dad]

nice shot

[jonriv]

Archery taught at ou local Hs as a "lifelong" activity. Part of phys ed

[Safebyahare]

If there are 9 players on the field and 16 first names. You may be
If you are still wondering around Cabela's or Bass Pro Shop looking for the softball section. You may be
If you use the word caliber for the level of play. you may be
If you think Big Five has fancy or nice softball stuff. you may be
If you ask for one of those X en O bats for your daughter. You may be
If a stroller has a mom's jersey number. You may be
If your jersey number reminds you of NASCAR. You may be
If the team knows you've arrived by the sound of your muffler. You may be
If HS ball is a higher education to you. You may be
If the ping of an aluminum is the start of HS SB. You may be
If you still call your 6'2" 200lb daughter 'baby girl'. You may be
If your pitcher throws strikes and you call that good sportsmanship. You may be
If you think softball season means you can keep the 12" foul balls and throw back 11" balls . You may be
If you use your bownet for other than its intended use. You may be
If your ball buckets have bullet holes. You may be
If your dog run doubles as a batting cage. You may be
If you load up her truck and claim she got a 'full ride'. You may be
If you get confused between which ball park and which trailer park. You may be

[Safebyahare]

If you go to games and don't leash your bird dog. You may be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZCtWCzgWwg