St. Paddy's Day!

[Fastpitch4Life]

C'mon! The day's half over and there isn't one Irish joke on the Bucket?!?! Not anymore...

A Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walk into a pub. They each buy a pint of Guinness beer.
Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.

The Scotsman fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened.

The Irishman too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer and then started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT, YOU BASTARD!!"

[PDad]

‘I’ve bought a new clock,’ boasted Clancy. ‘It goes eight days without winding.’
‘How long does it go if you do wind it?’ asked the barman.


The drunk rang Dublin airport and inquired: ‘How long does it take to fly to New York from Dublin?’
‘Just a second,’ said the receptionist.
Thank you,’ said the drunk and replaced the phone.


‘Wasn’t it tragic about my brother Michael,’ moaned Kelly. ‘Women and whiskey killed him.’
‘Is that so?’ sympathised O’Toole.
‘Yes, he couldn't get either, so he hung himself!’


‘Have you decided what to buy your wife for Christmas?’ asked McPhee.
‘Sure, she decided it for me,’ answered Kelly. ‘She said she wanted something with diamonds in it. So I’ve bought her a pack of cards!’

[exD1dad]

Why did God invent beer?

To keep the Irish from ruling the world