Lying Cop

[NumeroUno]

A mature lady gets pulled over by the police for speeding and the following events take place:


Elderly Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Police Officer: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.

Elderly Woman: Oh, I see.

Police Officer: Can I see your license please?

Elderly Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one.

Police Officer: Don't have one?

Elderly Woman: No. I lost it four years ago for drunk driving.

Police Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Elderly Woman: I can't do that.

Police Officer: Why not?

Elderly Woman: I stole this car.

Police Officer: Stole it?

Elderly Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Police Officer: You what?

Elderly Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Police Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his patrol car while calling for back up. Within minutes five police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Elderly Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer: My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Elderly Woman: Murdered the owner? Are you serious?

Officer: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, it is empty.


Officer: Is this your car, ma'am?

Elderly Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The Police Officer is stunned.

Officer: My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license.


The woman digs into her handbag and retrieves her license and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license quizzically.

Officer: Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!

Elderly Woman: I’ll bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

[PDad]

A variation of the one Hare posted Aug 6 - http://www.heybucket.com/viewtopic.php?f=612&t=62252&start=90#p414719