obamas school speech

[coachmatt]

something along these lines:

My beloved Children:

I address you today humbled by the task, grateful for the trust your brave parents have bestowed on me.

Yet, every so often the Presidency is involved amidst gathering clouds and raging storms.

That we are in the midst of healthcare crisis is now well understood.

Unfortunately, the Republican Party and other insidious traitors are at war against global warming, healthcare, and my, beautiful family, and precious family dog, Bo.

You must tell your loving parents, grandparents, and siblings who have not heard my Voice, to protect this world, give sustenance to those that are ill, and, let me and my family and Bo be at piece.

If they do not listen to this message of hope, honesty, care, and a brighter, calmer world, with oceans that remain tranquil, simply email Me at my White House link, deathtotratiors.gov and provide my faithful helpers the names, social security numbers, and any bank account information you have.

A list of all assets and guns would be most helpful.

With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come.

Let it be said by our children’s children that when we were tested we refused to let these lackeys of Capitalism survive, that we did not turn back nor did we falter in exposing traitors; and with eyes fixed on the Greater Good let my grace be upon all of you, as we carry that great gift of freedom, tempered by absolute obedience to government authority, and deliver it safely to future generations.

Thank you. I bless you and I bless the United States of America.