Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
The Pub
Great Advice to Pass on to Your Daughters
22 posts
• Page 1 of 3 • 1, 2, 3
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."
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luckyone - Posts: 84
- Joined: Fri Dec 21, 2007 10:28 pm
- Location: softball land
I likey!
...of course you know, my DD's dad is the exception to the rule(s)
...of course you know, my DD's dad is the exception to the rule(s)
- Joe
- Posts: 2393
- Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:25 pm
Should I tell her that all hetersexual sex is rape while I'm at it?
I think that instead, in a break from modern tradition, I'll teach her that repecting her man is every bit as important as getting respect from him. But then I'm a bit out of step with the times....
I think that instead, in a break from modern tradition, I'll teach her that repecting her man is every bit as important as getting respect from him. But then I'm a bit out of step with the times....
There is no charge for awesomeness
...or attractiveness.
...or attractiveness.
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Skarp - Premium Member
- Posts: 3141
- Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 6:10 pm
Skarp wrote:Should I tell her that all hetersexual sex is rape while I'm at it?
I think that instead, in a break from modern tradition, I'll teach her that repecting her man is every bit as important as getting respect from him. But then I'm a bit out of step with the times....
Whoa now Skarp...I think we were supposed to laugh right about now...
...anyways, to spice things up, I will ask the Mrs. if we can try some of that repecting Saturday night. Sounds fun! Is it legal?
- Joe
- Posts: 2393
- Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:25 pm
Joe wrote:Skarp wrote:Should I tell her that all hetersexual sex is rape while I'm at it?
I think that instead, in a break from modern tradition, I'll teach her that repecting her man is every bit as important as getting respect from him. But then I'm a bit out of step with the times....
Whoa now Skarp...I think we were supposed to laugh right about now...
...anyways, to spice things up, I will ask the Mrs. if we can try some of that repecting Saturday night. Sounds fun! Is it legal?
lol...yeah, well, you know me.
But I did actually sit in a lecture once where a very prominent and distinguished professor tried to explain that all male-female relationships were oppressive, and therefore that all hetero sex was rape. That's your tax dollars at work right there.
There is no charge for awesomeness
...or attractiveness.
...or attractiveness.
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Skarp - Premium Member
- Posts: 3141
- Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 6:10 pm
luckyone
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
Ok, now you get it, your daughter will make some man very happy.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
Right on… and if he comes back I’ve got the 12ga.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
…. Beer pleases …….. did you say something?
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
….. What? I don’t get it?
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
I agree mature is over rated.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
I thought we wore different logos for that.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
ahhh ….. Bachelor hood, good times.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
damn right, I do-it myself.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
Sh*t now you tell me!
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
…and a real bottle opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
If you what a committed man, read # 1 over and over.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
I love my GPS.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
The truth is so simple.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
That’s all I ask for.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
.. and we are all you got.
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
Ok, now you get it, your daughter will make some man very happy.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
Right on… and if he comes back I’ve got the 12ga.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
…. Beer pleases …….. did you say something?
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
….. What? I don’t get it?
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
I agree mature is over rated.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
I thought we wore different logos for that.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
ahhh ….. Bachelor hood, good times.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
damn right, I do-it myself.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
Sh*t now you tell me!
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
…and a real bottle opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
If you what a committed man, read # 1 over and over.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
I love my GPS.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
The truth is so simple.
14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
That’s all I ask for.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal...
.. and we are all you got.
“I have been loving you too long to stop now.” Otis Redding
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nohesitation - Posts: 203
- Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:46 pm
The author of this one has to either be a lesbian (can I use this word on HB?)or sadly single!! Not bashing the one who posted it, assuming the poster is not the author!
Perhaps I am a bit old fashion, but I would never share this with my daughter!
Author does not listen to Dr. Laura obviously!!
Perhaps I am a bit old fashion, but I would never share this with my daughter!
Author does not listen to Dr. Laura obviously!!
- bucndranch
- Posts: 169
- Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:51 am
bucndranch wrote:The author of this one has to either be a lesbian (can I use this word on HB?)or sadly single!! Not bashing the one who posted it, assuming the poster is not the author!
Perhaps I am a bit old fashion, but I would never share this with my daughter!
Author does not listen to Dr. Laura obviously!!
Wow! Political correctness once again rears its head!
I think it was posted to add some humor to the conversation here on HB... and not to be taken literally. If you can't or won't show it to your daughter than she's in for a rough ride with any man.
Yes, lesbian is permitted...along with racialist, peckerhead, fudgepacker, idiot, on and on...
Spaz is also good with Ron Jeremy, azzhole, and a few other good 'uns...
The use of #@%&* will suffice if you want to fill in a FU or SH_T
If you want to do some repecting, we're okay with that too....says Skarp.
"Testicle" is a no no
- Joe
- Posts: 2393
- Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2008 5:25 pm
bucndranch wrote:The author of this one has to either be a lesbian (can I use this word on HB?)or sadly single!! Not bashing the one who posted it, assuming the poster is not the author!
Perhaps I am a bit old fashion, but I would never share this with my daughter!
Author does not listen to Dr. Laura obviously!!
First inning: luckyone 1 . men 0
“I have been loving you too long to stop now.” Otis Redding
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nohesitation - Posts: 203
- Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:46 pm
nohesitation wrote:
First inning: luckyone 1 . men 0[/quote]
I'm just sticking up for the male species! I love and respect my man. How else do you think I get all those nice things!!!
- bucndranch
- Posts: 169
- Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 11:51 am
22 posts
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