Kid cant play coach under seige

[tx_dad35]

Now are you a coach or a manager? Cuz regardless if you have to come on here to see what to do You just ain't going to cut it. Think the Parents need to cut you.

[doittoit]

Now are you a coach or a manager? Cuz regardless if you have to come on here to see what to do You just ain't going to cut it. Think the Parents need to cut you.

Please see my first response, but I realize this would be a better alternative. Good call tx_dad35.

[Tarpon07]

Your answer is stats, stats and more stats. Laying it out to them in black and white tends to remove the parent's rose colored glasses. We keep stats on offense, defense and pitchers. We also keep them posted on our team website for all the parents to see.

[THE MAD-DOG99]

Now are you a coach or a manager? Cuz regardless if you have to come on here to see what to do You just ain't going to cut it. Think the Parents need to cut you.

Don't worry Amazing..this type of response is expected..but , of course not right..
just the typical..
" If you need to ask someone, you shouldn't be coaching blah blah.."
Maybe some people forget when they first started coaching..?
And parents for sure..always have the right answers..LOL

Maybe you did come here to get insight because you heard there was a lot of knowledge here..?
Probably would have been better to find an experienced coach locally, pull them aside, and ask those same questions..as to how they handle situations like this .?

I see where you are coming from though...

1st year coaching 10U, started a team just to have 1 closer. Had some decent kids and parents interested. Called an experienced coach and got fields, tryout info etc..

1st kid to show up..the "experienced club ball coach dad"..with ex-player spouse and they even brought the older DD's sister, the "stud' with all her travel garb.

Got the "my kids a pitcher" speach and the kid actually looked good in tryouts. (just pitching)
I got sold..no need to do anything else..here is player # 1

Only problem, first game, put a batter in the box..kids deathly afraid of the ball, turning away as each pitch is delivered..Never got the ball near the plate and of, course, when I pulled her..
I got the " what do you know ?...bad coaching..no catching ..defense sucks speach..."
Better yet the kid couldn' field ,throw or hit..!! I effed up getting sold and giving her a pass at tryouts..tried to work with the kid and the parents gingerly to no avail..

Finally after 1/2 year the Dad pulled her from the team since I would not pitch her anymore...

Never have seen the kid play again, BTW,..... except for 1/2 season of rec where I am sure the same thing happened..

Don't sell yourself short, sounds like you are trying to do the right thing without rockin the boat early on..
Remember though...coaching is ..training..development..knowledge of the game and game situations and getting the girls to follow that lead...
Coaching isn't knowing who can play SS and who needs help..frankly..anyone can figure that from the first day..so your instincts..I am sure are right on target...
That's why those parents are griping in the first place..since the kid probably has never been any good on any team she played on..
Maybe that's why they came to you, because they found out you were a new coach and they thought they could pull the wool over your eyes with all their "softball knowledge"...?


Stick to your guns, tell the parents your decisions about her ability..if they leave..they leave...

[amazing]

Now are you a coach or a manager? Cuz regardless if you have to come on here to see what to do You just ain't going to cut it. Think the Parents need to cut you.

Don't worry Amazing..this type of response is expected..but , of course not right..
just the typical..
" If you need to ask someone, you shouldn't be coaching blah blah.."
Maybe some people forget when they first started coaching..?
And parents for sure..always have the right answers..LOL

Maybe you did come here to get insight because you heard there was a lot of knowledge here..?
Probably would have been better to find an experienced coach locally, pull them aside, and ask those same questions..as to how they handle situations like this .?

I see where you are coming from though...

1st year coaching 10U, started a team just to have 1 closer. Had some decent kids and parents interested. Called an experienced coach and got fields, tryout info etc..

1st kid to show up..the "experienced club ball coach dad"..with ex-player spouse and they even brought the older DD's sister, the "stud' with all her travel garb.

Got the "my kids a pitcher" speach and the kid actually looked good in tryouts. (just pitching)
I got sold..no need to do anything else..here is player # 1

Only problem, first game, put a batter in the box..kids deathly afraid of the ball, turning away as each pitch is delivered..Never got the ball near the plate and of, course, when I pulled her..
I got the " what do you know ?...bad coaching..no catching ..defense sucks speach..."
Better yet the kid couldn' field ,throw or hit..!! I effed up getting sold and giving her a pass at tryouts..tried to work with the kid and the parents gingerly to no avail..

Finally after 1/2 year the Dad pulled her from the team since I would not pitch her anymore...

Never have seen the kid play again, BTW,..... except for 1/2 season of rec where I am sure the same thing happened..

Don't sell yourself short, sounds like you are trying to do the right thing without rockin the boat early on..
Remember though...coaching is ..training..development..knowledge of the game and game situations and getting the girls to follow that lead...
Coaching isn't knowing who can play SS and who needs help..frankly..anyone can figure that from the first day..so your instincts..I am sure are right on target...
That's why those parents are griping in the first place..since the kid probably has never been any good on any team she played on..
Maybe that's why they came to you, because they found out you were a new coach and they thought they could pull the wool over your eyes with all their "softball knowledge"...?


Stick to your guns, tell the parents your decisions about her ability..if they leave..they leave...

She was pretty good in rec. Although I know that’s not saying much! She played for another select team in our area but of course the coach just didn’t realize how talented she was and didn’t play her. He told me she couldn’t play but we thought she had quite a bit of athletic ability so we thought we could work with her. I was warned about one of the parents because they have exhibited this kind of behavior with others teams that her daughter played on. Always tearing down the coaches and team. Nobody seems to know anything. I feel pretty good about our team and coaching staff. The girls are improving and winning. I guess we will just take our no good, know nothing approach and continue to grow and become a successful team. Live and learn.

[cHeCk Yo SeLf]

I am new to HB and coaching so please be gentle. I coach a new select team. We have a pretty good collection of talent and have done pretty well this season. After picking our team at the beginning of the year and playing all season we are coming to the conclusion and reality about many of our players. Most have done pretty well and have improved quite a bit. Others have not. One of the girls who has not, has allot of athletic ability but doesnt get the job done in games. Cant hit and always makes an error when we need it the least. Her parents think she is a great softball player and doesnt understand why she is not getting prime time minutes in bracket play. I have tried to discuss it with them but they dont seem to be able to see the reality of thier daughters shotcoming. I dont really want to cut her but she is dragging our team down with her poor play. I think she could improve but we cannot put her on the field in critical situations. How should I handle this?

Thanks for the advice. It’s very frustrating when the parents cannot see what the coaching staff and everyone else in the stands see. I was very surprised when the parents took the stand they did. Demanding playing time and telling me she was a top player on our team. I thought they realized their daughter was not very good but appreciated the fact that we were working with her to improve. Even the girls on the team have mentioned that she isn't very good and keeps ("choking") making errors and strikes out every time we need her to do something in a game. Seems like everytime we get runners in scoring position she comes up and strikes out or drops a ball in the field in a critrical situation. Do they not see that??? Its amazing to me! Based on the parent’s position and the advice I received here we will cut her if she doesn’t quit first.

Forgive me but gentleness isn't in my repertoire, and isn't the norm on HB. Stop being a coward. You owe it to your team. The longer you wait only takes away from your effectiveness. Your players and parents want your coaching staff to be leaders. The frustration will be magnified if the weak link is a friend's or coach's dd. In the animal kingdom what does the pack do to the weak link? Once you taste the blood of your first kill it is easier from then on out. Step up and make the tough decision. It will make you a better coach and a better team.

[DonnieS]

Forgive me but gentleness isn't in my repertoire, and isn't the norm on HB. Stop being a coward. You owe it to your team. The longer you wait only takes away from your effectiveness. Your players and parents want your coaching staff to be leaders. The frustration will be magnified if the weak link is a friend's or coach's dd. In the animal kingdom what does the pack do to the weak link? Once you taste the blood of your first kill it is easier from then on out. Step up and make the tough decision. It will make you a better coach and a better team.

Setting the tone for your way of coaching is important early. When I started this team, 5 years ago, we had several pretty strong players and some lesser experienced players. We played a couple of tournaments, placing 2nd in 14u (we were 1st year 12u), and 4th or 5th in some good 12u tournaments. I invited one very strong kid to come join and along with her got 2 other very strong kids that came with her as a package deal. The parents had been 'aggressive' before and I just said ' the deal is no bs - understand?' First tournament, with the new group, we wiped out a team that had beaten us before. The second game, we were set against the top team in 12u in the state. Figuring that there would be some strong hitting, I moved 2 of these kids from infield to outfield, I needed my strongest kids where the action was sure to be. First pitch and a parent came howling out of the stand, 'my kid dont play no outfield! ' I asked the blue for time and called the two out of the out field to come in - I then told them with the parent standing beside me , they were off the team. The child started crying, the parent started pleading with me to stay, I said 'No - you had one chance - that was it.'

I also had two girls who from all appearences were excellent athletes, very good practice players, every 4 or 5 tournaments, they would have a good game, sometimes a good tournament. I tried everything over 3 years, extra individual practices, moving them all over trying to find a better spot. The only thing that improved is when they werent there. Over those 3 years, we did 'ok', we won some tournaments, but we always had our sure outs there in the lineup. I also always had these murmurs up in the stands from those sets of parents - nothing terrible but just little comments. After 3 years, I finally did what I should have - this is the biggie - the next 9 tournaments after that cut, we were in the championship game all 9 tournaments, we either took 1st and 2nd, not having to deal with a weak part of the lineup. So the bottom line is I screwed my team, my players, my coaches and my parents for 3 years until I finally did what I should have done 2.5 years before - my excuse ? is that I thought I could fix things that I was not able to.

Learn from my mistakes.

My suggestion - just cut - no stats, no nothing other than "This is not working out and I think it would better if you found another team - I suggest xxxxx or yyyy - you will get more playing time with them than you will with this team.' And thats it. If you cant do this, dont coach.

[Tarpon07]

DonnieS-
My suggestion - just cut - no stats, no nothing other than "This is not working out and I think it would better if you found another team - I suggest xxxxx or yyyy - you will get more playing time with them than you will with this team.' And thats it. If you cant do this, dont coach.

Yes, whatever you do, don't keep stats. Having information about your players performance is a bad thing

[pbj2000]

DonnieS-
My suggestion - just cut - no stats, no nothing other than "This is not working out and I think it would better if you found another team - I suggest xxxxx or yyyy - you will get more playing time with them than you will with this team.' And thats it. If you cant do this, dont coach.

Yes, whatever you do, don't keep stats. Having information about your players performance is a bad thing

I think he means as a coach don't feel the need to break out the stats to justify your reason to cut...Stats are always good...but sometimes stats just leads to another argument?

[DonnieS]

DonnieS-
My suggestion - just cut - no stats, no nothing other than "This is not working out and I think it would better if you found another team - I suggest xxxxx or yyyy - you will get more playing time with them than you will with this team.' And thats it. If you cant do this, dont coach.

Yes, whatever you do, don't keep stats. Having information about your players performance is a bad thing

Tarpon, trust me, I have the stats, but stats dont always tell the whole story. I just finished doing the hitting and pitching stats from the weekend and was taking a break when I saw your response. Sometimes someone will have a stronger looking b/a but you realize she got her hits against weak pitching - K'ed against strong pitching or on pitching stats a pitcher will have tons of K's but they are against weak teams or high school teams. What I meant is that you go to have the 'This is not working out ' speech with the parent and player, stats can be something to argue about and you do not want to argue, you just want to say it and be done - and sometimes the stats are so bad, that the kid might just quit altogether when what she needs to do is step down a level and play maybe rec ball for a while or a team that doesnt face strong competition all the time.