Second best eteamz ad I ever saw

[clayface74]

Sick of rec league politics and egos already? 8U travel is for you!

I thought that was just something you made up....I just saw it on page 10 or so.....The other day I put my ad up in the morning. 2 hours later it was 5 pages deep! I looked at the Ohio eteamz and there was 2 or 3 ads.....2 from IN teams!! I'm thinking of changing mine to something like this:

What: 14U tryout
When: 8-7-10 2-4pm
Where: Our field
Why: we need players to fill a roster

It may be the way to go

[capnwillie]

Nope - not made up
Reading those things is a thing of beauty - you can't make them up
Here's a good one I just read:

14U Hoosier Alley Cats looking for players 97 / 98 birthdates (will take 96s), we believe in total player development, we have went to the Nationals two years straight.

Love it - total player developmemt as long as that pesky lernin' don't get in the way

[clayface74]

Nope - not made up
Reading those things is a thing of beauty - you can't make them up
Here's a good one I just read:

14U Hoosier Alley Cats looking for players 97 / 98 birthdates (will take 96s), we believe in total player development, we have went to the Nationals two years straight.

Love it - total player developmemt as long as that pesky lernin' don't get in the way

14u looking for 97/98 b-days.....we will take a 96 .....if she is an ace pitcher, catcher, 4 hitter, ss, corner, lefty slapper, outfielder.

It never ends..You have to read the fine print..

[capnwillie]

YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR AD IN ALL CAPS WITH BIG BOLD PRINT. SEEMS LIKE EVERYOBODY SERIOUS ABOUT LOOKING FOR "A" PLAYERS WANTS TO MAKE SURE THE AD GETS NOTICED.

[slapperdad]

capnwillie, I feel like I'm a pretty good smartass, I feel like I have made some brilliant posts in the past, though not necessarily on Softball boards. I've managed to poke people without them even knowing they've been poked. I've managed to really piss off some people who I wanted to piss off, to the point of receiving phone calls and letters from lawyers. But with all that said, that was one of the best pieces I've ever read. Funny, to the point, and for anything to be really funny, it has to be based in truth. I take my hat off to you, it was a great piece. What team are you with, I'd love to meet you sometime.

I know the Hoosier Ally Catz, they're ad is serious, they're all about "fun". And I don't think they'd ever be accused of letting winning get in the way of that. They played in local nationals and bought their way in, went 0fer and had a great time at the opening ceremonies. My guess is you could count the wins over those two years on one hand.

I have been fortunate with my DD. We've never really gone thru all this annual hoop jumping. She's only been to one real tryout. And even at that, why everyone was getting the we'll call you in a week speech, we were pulled aside and told "we want her". We have been pretty fortunate, I guess thru just dumb luck to have made the right moves along the way so far. I still enjoy the hell out of reading those ads every year though.

[capnwillie]

Alley Cats are a nice group, just wish they would pay the proofreader a little bit more. The "we have went" really stands out since we preach education, education, education.

Thanks for the compliment on the old ad - I'm same way with DD I guess: it always works out the way it should without resorting to position prostitution.

The greatest thing about last years' post, and I kept every one, were the replies to the ad. The serious replies, parents attaching resumes, wanting to make sure little Susie didn't miss a shot at tryouts.

The constant team hopping every coach loves to complain about is fueled by these ads, "confidential only" of course - we've always had a running joke in the dugout.

You know the pitcher - the one that looks at mom and dad between every pitch call, or throws up her arms at the rightfielder when a double screams through the gap - there's your eteamz fodder for next August.

I really wish all kids and parents well. Just couldn't imagine being in a position where the turnout of kids, and gamble on parents, is fueled by spam ads.

Seriously, there is some little guy in a village in India or the Phillipines, hunched over his computer banging out bots in a nictotine fueled frenzy, that is amazed at the amount of spam ads some of these coaches can crank out in a day.

Gotta go - been 45 minutes since I updated ads #4, 6, & 9 - I'm already 6 pages deep I'm sure

[clayface74]

YOU NEED TO PUT YOUR AD IN ALL CAPS WITH BIG BOLD PRINT. SEEMS LIKE EVERYOBODY SERIOUS ABOUT LOOKING FOR "A" PLAYERS WANTS TO MAKE SURE THE AD GETS NOTICED.

Scrolling, Neon lettering...!'s....*'s I will have to learn some HTML. When my team fails or falls apart I will now know what I did wrong. I dont want to make any mistakes. The future of softball in the olymppics depends on my 14U"A" season.
Is this for real????????

Fall Creek Softball Looking for Players to Get to Portland, OR 8/5/2010
Fall Creek youth softball is seeking all-star caliber kids to take their shot at a trip to Portland OR, the home of the Little League Softball World Series. We are beginning a development program to transform all-stars into elite softball players. Our program is for families and kids that want to play higher level baseball, but don't want the stress and strain of travel softball.

[slapperdad]

I have gone thru and actually read some of these, this is some great stuff:

16u "A" is looking to fill out a few key positions for a powerful "A" team for the 2010 fall season starting in august/september.

I've been around "A" ball for several years now, I've never seen this organization.

We are also looking for a starting pitcher that hits her spots, has an artillery of junk, and can bring some heat. we are looking for a serious pitcher that will share time with 2 others.

Who's not looking for that pitcher? There won't be any sharing time on our team though, we're going to saddle her up and ride her!

We will be a team that works around 3 strong pitchers and 2-3 strong catchers.

So 5-6 players are pitchers and catchers, how many do you plan on carrying?

We only plan to roster a max of 11 players.

I guess that answers my question, but I'm still confused. max of 11 players, 3 pitchers, and 2-3 catchers, who's going to play all the other positions?

Our program is for families and kids that want to play higher level baseball, but don't want the stress and strain of travel softball.

Are we playing Baseball or Softball, I'm confused?

We are looking for players ages 9 - 12 to participate in our winter workouts, hitting leagues, and pitching clinics.

Wait a minute, that's starting to sound an awful lot like travel Softball....or was it Baseball.

These kids will play in our recreational league,

Deal MAKER! Where do I sign my kid up?

Please...serious ball players only.

I guess I'll scratch that one off the list, my DD can frequently be seen smiling, laughing, just having fun on the diamond. This team is clearly not for her.

Tryouts Under New Name

I've GOT to go see what that's all about, clearly looks like a good situation.

14U Tryouts Looking for serious "A" Players

Why does everyone want to be so serious?

16U TEAM LOOKING FOR A PITCHER

Perhaps the team with three should share with this one?

I'm going to have to make a pot of coffee and pour over this stuff tonight and tomorrow and come up with a plan of attack. We've got to have a plan going into the next couple of weeks.

[madwhit]

Slapper....


Please keep these coming. I have not laughed this hard in awhile. You are speaking what I have been thinking. I am now watching this change every hour instead of the ads....way to stay on top....Please keep me laughing...


PS..I like the ones who pull their DD because they did not get to play enough so they start their own team and promise they wont play daddy ball.....then why did you quit 3 teams this season and start this.?? They must think that some goofy person is going to say ....Look this guy says he wont play any daddy ball and he has 2 daughters on that team that all played for 3 different organizations this season...so i believe he wont play that way....LOL

[slapperdad]

And every second year 14U team is going to be "Gold" or "Showcase" team. From what I've heard Indiana will most likely only receive 3 ASA/USA bids next year, there's going to be an awful lot of disappointed "serious, A, gold, showcase, big gun" players next summer.