14 YO Loves softball Is good But unsure of playing @ college

[sbfan502]

Anyone else already went through this and can offer advice.

My DD is a 2012. Loves, loves softball and is a very good player for our midwestern area. We have always played the best competitive level possible and on the best possible regional teams. My daughter always wants to play for and against the best teams possible - Win or lose that is fun to her.

Here is the rub...Second year 14's the financial level is about to jump up a notch. Possibly Colorado, OKC, Chicago, Florida and the 14 Nationals in GA are in the works for her team next year. BUT DD says she is not certain she wants to play in college based on the commitment it is taking at this level. (Her travel and high school teams work year round). She loves the work (most of the time) but recognizes the sacrifices needed to be really good.

She knows she will attend college, fortunately we have put money aside for that. She is thinking she wants a more "normal" college experience and use college to get ready for the remainder of her life.

So my questions are these -
Is it common for 13/14 year olds to question if they want to play at the next level?
If she is not 100% now should we just call it and stop playing the high level travel ball?

While my wife and I love travel ball, we recognize the total cost and impact on the family (she has a younger sister) is significant.

My fear is we drop down a notch, then in 2 years she decides maybe she wants to play after all.

I'm thinking one more year...than a decision must be made to attempt to play in college and keep up the high level stuff or decide against and drop it back....

Just kind of venting - but the wife and I are very confused about how to proceed.

[Tucson]

I would let DD make the call. I understand what you are saying.

My own DD was quite good, also. But she wasn't much on college, and we knew it.

As a teen, she played on her HS's travel team and that was it. No big tournaments.

She went to a semester of CC and didn't register again. Her grades were always good, so I encouraged her to go to Cosmetology school. She took the initiative and found the best one in the area (they aren't cheap, but didn't offer sports scholarships. ha). She is at school 40 hours a week (for 11 months) and waits tables 16 hours a week on weekends.

I told her that I would rather be at a 4 year college carrying 15 hours a week and she said "but, you aren't me." I wish I had had her talent.

Don't forget your DD, could still play the top competition and not pursue a scholarship. She might decide to do it her soph. year.

[bubbad]

I am experiencing the exact same situation also. DD freshman this year, but we live a long ways from a major city. Discussed options with DD, she does not seem to want to commit to traveling 3 to 4 hours on Sundays for practice. We have been playing at a high level of travel ball also. She is in all honors classes, VB, band, will pitch for her varsity this year as a frosh, maybe this is all too much, plus trying to pitch during the week. I pretty much told her we will play select ball 1 more year, go to CO Fireworks, etc and some tryout camps and then after that we either commit to try to get on an 18U gold team, or just quit spending all this money and she can just pitch for her high school team and hang it up. Would like other members thoughts on this subject also.

[traveldude]

Here's what we did,

When my DD said she was unsure if she wanted to go to college. We took her to the mall. We went to the food court, and bought a few corn dogs at "Hot Dog on a Stick". We sat at the table closest to the front and faced the cashier. We quietly ate,my wife and I noticed my DD was very quiet. She watched the girls and guys working there wearing the uniforms we all know they wear. Before we were done eating she said can we take this home and finish it I have some college letters to write......
Traveldude

[DonnieS]

>> She watched the girls and guys <<

Excellent job, Traveldude.

And to the poster, one of the things that I thought was awesome was the conversations the college coaches have when your kid visits a campus. They basically all say in different words, if we pay for your education, you will earn every penny and then some.

[3Bsnag]

Does she play any other sports or any other active hobbies?

I can't offer advice on experience, but we are seeing your situation in a few of DD's friends. What stinks for your kid is that it seems to be all softball, all the time since her HS team is year round also. Mine isn't showing the signs yet, but we are already trying to head this situation off.

Kids sports schedules now are nothing like when we were kids. Our kids won't be telling the stories of how many houses they tp'd, how big that bike ramp was, remember the mega field parties, and how many pools we could hop in one night. Surely I'm not the only delinquent on this board?

I think yours has already given you the yellow light and I think something has to give before another year of going to bed early for tournaments pushes her even further from this sport. IMO, you have to schedule in time for friends, freaks (boys), and fun, even if it's a compromise of a lighter fall and a tougher/full spring of SB.

I have said this a million times and will continue- they have one shot at being a kid. Help them prioritize and figure this out so in the end, they can look back and smile. Good luck to you, I dread when it's my time.

[sbfan502]

Honestly she is well rounded and happy. Great grades, played basketball, volleyball, and big in chorus until she started HS. She has friends outside of SB. She has missed some things like movies, Bday parties etc. But we have always said when you don't like let us know and you should stop playing....and so far she loves to play.

She is not burnt out on SB and would play as much as I pay for. I'm just not sure of paying and committing time at this point without the goal being to play in college.

[TFHR]

I'm lucky, my DD knew from the age of 10 that she was going to play college ball, so I never had to question her or our committment. When she was having a bad day, I would simply ask her if she was ready to quit...she would just throw the glove, bat or ball right back at me and say "NO"...But I'll say this, if you can afford it, go and play as long as she enjoys it and is having fun. You will know soon enough if she is going to continue, but at least this way nobody will have any regrets looking back. We as parents spend a lot of money on travel ball and lessons and now that I look back, it was worth every penny!!!...even is she didn't play college ball. Time goes by way too fast, just yesterday she was playing T-ball.

[3Bsnag]

Much clearer picture. She sounds like a well rounded kid and mature for having thought that through.

If she still enjoys it that much and the funds are there, go for it. There would never be a "what if".

[greenandblue]

Be thankful your daughter wants to be active and enjoys the sport. Keep her in travel ball as long as you can, because you will always know where she is, or shall I say where she isn't. Less time to get in trouble, less time to be on their freakin phones, and less time around the boys.
There are children who happen to just love playing a sport. Travell ball gives them that opportunity to play a game they enjoy, with friends they enjoy being with. For most of them, it just feels good to play. If they aren't planning on playing in college, no matter how good they are, let them play anyway, just for fun.
Please don't feel you would be throwing away money if they don't go on to college and play. Once your daughter is 17 or 18, you will see a child who enjoyed playing softball and did well but is chomping at the bit to go out in the exciting, scary world.