OVER THE "TOP" PARENTS

[Skarp]

My kids don't have a choice. They each have to be involved in some sport nearly year-round. They get to decide which sports, but not participating at all is not an option.

They also have to play an instrument (lessons and practice only...not band or anything like that, unless they choose to).

And they have to maintain good grades.

And they have to stay out of trouble.

And they only get to hang out with other kids who are similarly active and achievement-oriented (this pretty much takes care of itself).

I don't really have to crack a whip or anything, because every privilege they have in the world is conditioned on meeting these basic requirements...and they know it.

Yes, I am evil.

[artomatic]

I don't really have to crack a whip or anything, because every privilege they have in the world is conditioned on meeting these basic requirements...and they know it.

Yes, I am evil.

and besides Mrs Skarp handles the disciplining of the children...

[Slider]

because every privilege they have in the world is conditioned on meeting these basic requirements...and they know it.

You said it best! This is the same in my house and so far has worked. One in college, 2 in high school and 1 in jr. high. I have been very lucky, not a problem one. When kids are active and understand that there are conditions and consequences they tend to be more responsible. (as much as a teenager can be responsible) When they are involved in activities with other kids who have the same values they tend to get into less trouble.

And better yet they grow up to be responsible adults with goals!!!!! imagine that.

JMO

[3'sDad]

Tuscon: I love the one sport or a job choice.....I'll have to remember that one going forward.

Skarp: Mr. & Mrs. Skarp parent like the wife and I do....self-disciplining and maintaining good grades seems to be successful to date, but who knows going forward. We have the further motivational tool of either Catholic School or Military School if DD goes astray; neither of which DD would want to attend whatsoever. Always good to have an Ace as a hole card to play in the poker game.

[Joe Dirt]

That is pretty funny. DDs go to Catholic school and I threaten them with the local public school.

[Sftbll4ever]

That is pretty funny. DDs go to Catholic school and I threaten them with the local public school.

Best parties I ever went to in HS were the Catholic School kids parties. Their parents thought they were to pure for that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Ace]

Tuscon: I love the one sport or a job choice.....I'll have to remember that one going forward.

Always good to have an Ace as a hole card to play in the poker game.

Keep me outta this, I hate kids!

[rbi]

That is pretty funny. DDs go to Catholic school and I threaten them with the local public school.

Best parties I ever went to in HS were the Catholic School kids parties. Their parents thought they were to pure for that. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The BEST and ONLY REAL HS Football tailgate parties are at the Catholic Schools, and the alumni know how to put one on, great food and all the spirits you can think of, I guess being private has more advantages than just recruiting.

[Blind Squirrel]

"the worst is the parent that forces their kid to play when it is obvious they don't want to play anymore".
...
Now my 13 year old is starting to resist. She loves to play (she pitches), but is not too happy about practice. Especially the early ones. I think I want to handle this differently than I did with the older one but, I just don't know how to go about it.
I guess my question to the more experienced parents here is... How much nudging is OK?

Every kid is different. No single approach to anything related to kids always works. Anyone who thinks their approach is ideal for their kids is delusional. That being said, I will tell you what we did. My kid was 13, playing soccer and softball. Made her choose. She chose soccer. Okay. Her choice. After all, we may be paying, driving and attending but we ain't the ones practicing/playing. After one year, kid decides to quit soccer and return to softball. She missed softball, loves the game and as a result, loves to practice. Never expressed regret about quitting soccer and can't wait to play softball in college. If your kid doesn't want to practice now, I have to wonder about whether she loves the game. If she doesn't have that love before college, it seems unlikely she'll be interested in playing in college. Too many other things going on that will have a higher priority than doing something she doesn't truly enjoy.

How much nudging is OK? No one can answer that for you. We did not nudge at all. She realized she loved the game after she stopped playing for awhile. Best of luck however you choose to handle your child.

John

[pitchslap]

Skarp..
I agree and also make my kids participate in a sport at all times. Of course college is not optional but, playing or at least trying to play at that level, is. I'm wondering if my pushing is going to turn them away from playing when they hit the age where they can tell me to pound sand.

I also encourage my older DD to hang with sports minded kids. It never occurred to me boy's water polo players are part of that group.