leaving a team tactfully

[pafan]

I know this topic has been discussed before, but I'm looking for the most tactful way to leave a team. It is a 14U team with a great reputation that we've been with for over a year, but there is a new coach who through fall tournaments has shown that he is more about power and punishing girls and picking favorites than teaching. (I won't go into specifics. There are a number of dissatisfied girls on the team (because of this coach), but we would be the first to leave.) The problem is that it is a team that is centered in a huge softball complex that has good 16U and 18U teams that we might want to try out for in the next couple of years. Do I tell anyone (I'm thinking specifically of other coaches that ask--I'm friends with the director of the complex) about our coaching concerns, or do we just lie and say it's finances? Or do we go with the catch-all blanket excuse of "it's just not a good fit right now." I just don't want to burn bridges with the complex.

Thanks for any help.

[CB_8]

Be honest, but in doing so so you do not have to air "dity laundry". Remember the toes you step on today may be on the legs that is attached to the a$$ you have to kiss tomorrow.

[Clean_up]

First, you don't need to discuss your concerns about the coaching with anyone, especially other players/parents on the team. You should contact the coach, have a polite conversation and let him/her know that you've decided to go in another direction for your daughter.

[blackwidow]

It is the end of the fall season and you have every right to do what is best for your daughter.
Call the coach and tell him thank you for the opportunity but you will be looking for another team come January.
You should not be discussing your issues with the coach with anyone except the coach. It can only hurt you in the long run.
These coaches "especially in the OC area" all talk to each other in spite of the fact that you may think you are speaking in strict confidence.

[Demonboy]

I'm with cleanup. Keep in in house. I would disagree with CB's advice to "be honest". Make up a load of bull about it not being the right fit and move on. Hell tell him dd needs to find a weaker program so she can get more playing time, that way you're actually complimenting his team. Maybe he'll only trash her for a month or two instead of a year.

[Chin Music]

Make up a load of bull about it not being the right fit and move on. Hell tell him dd needs to find a weaker program so she can get more playing time, that way you're actually complimenting his team. Maybe he'll only trash her for a month or two instead of a year. [/quote]



Classic Demon! It's always pretty apparent as to why someone leaves a team. So instead of load of bull then more bull. How about the Truth then sugar coat with bull shavings!

[Sam]

There are at least 3 truths involved:

1) The parent telling their truth about the wrong fit or daddyball or coach doesn't know what she's doing or DD wants to play on a winning team or...

2) The player's truth...really having fun and doesn't want to leave this team...

3) The coach's truth....great player with psycho parents/good riddance....not so good player with psycho parents....not so good player rightfully looking for a weaker team so that she can play more....

Take your pick...

[Ace]

Maybe you want to find another team before you leave the one your on. I heard some teams are looking for pitchers!

[soreshins]

I agree with Clean_up. The last thing you want to do is discuss your departure with other parents. Particularly those parents who may feel the same way you do. Parents tend to talk too much and complain too long before moving on. Once you know it is a bad fit, just leave. Don't tell your friends that you are thinking about leaving or you might be leaving. Again, just leave.

It is best to leave first, leave quietly and distance yourself from complaining parents. That way if the team collapses, you will out of the picture and on down the road.

[OCTravelCoach]

Any mature and astute travelball coach understands when you tell them "I don't think it's the right fit for my daughter."

That means:

A: the parents don't like the coach
b: the daughter doesn't like the coach
c: the parents don't like the other players
d: the player doesn't like the other players
e: the parents don't like the other parents
f: not enough playing time
g: the program is too tough
h: the program isn't tough enough
I: the coach and parents/DD disagree over the player's ability level
J: All of or a combination of the above

If the coach asks for more detail, give it with specific example of behavior. Some coaches actually want to improve their programs and are receptive to feedback done in a positive way.