Parental Support, or is it, Part II

[MTR]

http://sports.espn.go.com/broadband/video/videopage?videoId=3795996

What does a parent say when their child breaks the news that they don't want to do it anymore?

Should a parent try to talk the child out of their decision? Is it right to show disappointment?

Or should the parent be positive no matter how they feel?

Or would you call the coaches and trainers in your DDs life to try and persuade her to change her mind?

As a coach, trainer or friend, would you condone and follow the parent's request or stand by the child who just decided to walk away from your sport?

[Gone in 2.6]

There's no blanket right or wrong response. It depends on the kid and countless
other variables. Why does she want to give it up? Has there been evidence of
waning interest for some time? Or is a passionate ball player suddenly hanging
up her cleats out of nowhere.....to spend more time with her boyfriend?

In the end, if they truly want to quit, the writing is on the wall for the eventual outcome.

[#22MOM]

I'm going through this situation with my dd right now. Everytime she goes with her father (which isn't often) she wants to stop playing. She is spending christmas vacation with him right now and told me last night on the phone that she doesn't want to play anymore. Her father and his parents are not supportive of her playing and are always telling her that she plays too much and doesn't spend enough time with them. Her father tells her softball doesn't matter until she plays in high school so playing right now isn't important. I've been confused as to what to do.

[coolstuff]

I would definitely have a talk, probably several over a period of time, for the purpose of understanding how DD came to the decision to quit the sport. Depending on her reasoning, I might try to offer alternatives, or maybe even "talk her out of it." I feel its my role as parent to help her make a good decision. But sometimes "I just don't want to do it anymore" is the best reason in and of itself. I'm not going to force her to participate in any sport no matter what's been invested. We do have one family rule: You follow through on your commitments and don't drop out in the middle of something. If at a logical end-point you still feel the same way, so be it.

It wouldn't be the first time she decided not to do something. She spent years in gymnastics, hours in the gym, money out of our pocket for instruction, travel to tournaments, uniforms, equipment, and she had some success at it. But eventually gymnastics is an all or nothing proposition, way more so than softball. She didn't want to do just gymnastics, so with our blessing, she walked away.

[Sam]

Is she pregnant?

[Fasterpitch]

Is she pregnant?

NOT even funny

[wadeintothem]

I think the "why" is an important consideration in taking into account the whole of what is going on

Are grades becoming an issue?
A boy?
Drugs?
Maybe she lacks skill.
Pressure from outside sources.
Maybe she doesnt like the sport.
Maybe she loves the sport, but you are ruining the fun of the game for her.

There is no automatic correct answer and I think each kid and situation would need to be evaluated for what it is.

Just because a kid says she doesnt want to play doesnt mean game over until the matter is investigated and understood.

Depending on the situation, she may in fact need to be encouraged to play or at least provide another alternate acceptable activity.

[Tucson]

My kids had to stay in something all the way through HS. No just "hanging out."

I was even leery of them working a part-time job in HS, because they would have free reign of their money, then, and buy stupid stuff.

As they got older some dropped band, some dropped basketball, but no dropping everything - that doesn't look good on your transcripts.

[TXfastpitchsoftball]

I'm going through this situation with my dd right now. Everytime she goes with her father (which isn't often) she wants to stop playing. She is spending christmas vacation with him right now and told me last night on the phone that she doesn't want to play anymore. Her father and his parents are not supportive of her playing and are always telling her that she plays too much and doesn't spend enough time with them. Her father tells her softball doesn't matter until she plays in high school so playing right now isn't important. I've been confused as to what to do.

Divorce was a good first step. I would recommend an immediate modification of the custody orders.

[Empire United]

Here are a couple of ideas:
1. Put her in a sport that requires more conditioning than softball and will eventually bore her. (Swimming is good, Soccer is better, & track is just down right mean)
2. Tell her that you feel the same way and that you support her. If shes like my kid she will change her mind immediately when she finds out that your all for it.
3. You can do what I did. Brib'em....Open a bank account for her college. If she gets a academic scholarship she keeps 1/4 of it, She gets a athletic scholarship she gets the another 1/4. Daddy's DD gets a D1 full ride, she keeps the rest. She drops out of softball & gets a job at the local liquor store then DADDY GOES TO THE BAHAMAS!!!!!