team jumping, need more time to shop around?

[Judd]

Sam give it up. Parents and players choose to leave for more than lack of playing time.

DD is on third team since coming to GA. On her first team she started and played 90% of the time. second team she played 95% of the time. She didnt leave those teams because of lack of playing time. I wont go into detail as I know ALOT of people lurk here and I dont want it to get back that I am slamming coaches. Lets just say it wasnt a good fit.

DD tried out for a couple teams in fall. We based our decision on what we thought was best and if things didnt work out, we could re evaluate in spring. Alot of people use fall as a long term tryout.

On her current team, she is not playing where she liked but she really likes the team, plays 90% of the time and is thrilled. As the parent of my 12 y/o I am responsible for making sure she is an environment where she will be treated fairly, get good coaching, improve and have fun. I know its a tall order but thats what I want. And we have found it so I wont be scanning the "want ads" in the next few weeks. Well I will just to see whos doing what but not for DD.


I am so tired of hearing that parents make decisons based on our own egos.

I'm bettin that you didn't tell that to the coach when you committed to his/her team in the fall.

If she is changing teams twice per year, you aren't doing your job.

Choosing a team is like buying a car...and about the same monthly payment....do you just buy a car....and then trade it in three months later?

OBTW: Your DD may be treated fairly, but if you PERCEIVE her treatment as unfair...you move her....the parents' egos is what taints their PERCEPTION of what is fair.

I was upfront with the coach, told him we were looking at other teams, etc But no I did not tell him if we were unhappy we would leave. HOWEVER I did not know the team as it was a 97 and DD is 96 so we never saw them play. The tryout was private with 2 other kids (coaches kids). I asked him flat out where my DD would fit in, was she better than the rest, not good enough would she get playing time, etc. He told me she was middle of the road and would see plenty of playing time. we did not discuss where. From what I saw in fall, everything he said was true. If he would have benched her 90% of the time, kept her out of the line up etc I would have confronted him based on what he told me when we joined and we probably would have

Sam maybe you have coached all your kids and never had the opportunity to go to tryouts. Maybe you have but you knew all the coaches, teams etc. here we have teams that play in USFA, ASA, GSA, ISA, ESA to mention a few. Sometimes you just dont see other teams. Especially since DD is working her way up the ladder and moving on to better teams.

1st team we stuck it out through summer, tried to help but it wasnt going to happen. So next season we looked for another team. There was a startup team out of a park that was known for having pretty good teams so tried out there. Instead of sticking out the season on a dead end, I (Yes I took DD off the team) and she played for other teams, including 14U as a 12U, pick up etc. I absolutely believe she was better off playing up than where she was.

I cant go into details because I dont want to publicly slam any coaches but what was promised and delivered were two different things.

How am I supposed to know these things before I committ???

If I buy a car and the sales guy says yeah, she'll do 0-60 in 5 seconds, then I ask lets take her for a test drive. If a coach tells me, yeah we are going to play "A", do team hitting lessons, etc I have to take their word for it.

If my car doesnt do 0-60 in 5 seconds, I should have tested it before I bought it. I also get a warranty if anything breaks. I know what I got. What kind of warranty does the coach give me?

One of the teams she just ttried out for told us they were going to play at a higher level, high B, or A but what they did in fall wasnt high B


Maybe you got alot of good coaches out where you are. Not the case here in GA

[Clean_up]

OBTW: Your DD may be treated fairly, but if you PERCEIVE her treatment as unfair...you move her....the parents' egos is what taints their PERCEPTION of what is fair.

Skarp, you are the wise one -- This statement says it ALL.... So very true...

[weekend4trvl]

Sam give it up. Parents and players choose to leave for more than lack of playing time.

DD is on third team since coming to GA. On her first team she started and played 90% of the time. second team she played 95% of the time. She didnt leave those teams because of lack of playing time. I wont go into detail as I know ALOT of people lurk here and I dont want it to get back that I am slamming coaches. Lets just say it wasnt a good fit.

DD tried out for a couple teams in fall. We based our decision on what we thought was best and if things didnt work out, we could re evaluate in spring. Alot of people use fall as a long term tryout.

On her current team, she is not playing where she liked but she really likes the team, plays 90% of the time and is thrilled. As the parent of my 12 y/o I am responsible for making sure she is an environment where she will be treated fairly, get good coaching, improve and have fun. I know its a tall order but thats what I want. And we have found it so I wont be scanning the "want ads" in the next few weeks. Well I will just to see whos doing what but not for DD.


I am so tired of hearing that parents make decisons based on our own egos.

I'm bettin that you didn't tell that to the coach when you committed to his/her team in the fall.

If she is changing teams twice per year, you aren't doing your job.

Choosing a team is like buying a car...and about the same monthly payment....do you just buy a car....and then trade it in three months later?

OBTW: Your DD may be treated fairly, but if you PERCEIVE her treatment as unfair...you move her....the parents' egos is what taints their PERCEPTION of what is fair.

Then our coach would make one hell of a used car salesman

[coolstuff]

My lesson for my daughters is that in any activity, you finish your commitment through the endpoint. I see it as a reciprocal agreement. DD has been on a team that we (including her) were not entirely happy with, and considered leaving at the lowest point, but things improved a little, and we saw it through to the end of the season, then moved on. Admittedly, we have not been in a situation that was so bad that we felt we had no choice but to leave. But my first choice is that we work through it and try to improve the situation, and if we can just tough it out until tryouts, that's better than quitting the team.

[Sam]

Judd,

My kid tried out for teams that I didn't coach 6 times....I ended up being asked to help coach 5 of those teams.

I don't think it is that hard to find out about travel organizations...even in Georgia. Find out all you can about them and see if their goals fit your DD's.

[DDG]

Funny how these topics quickly turn into “bad coaches” versus “bad parents”. Who’s fault is it when a kid changes teams?

Going back to the original post’s topic – Does the lack of time off contribute to so many players moving after the fall season? I think it does. Clearly not enough time to evaluate players/coaches/teams/ or whatever you think the reason for moving is. Teams are in a rush to lock up the top players. Parents and players (mostly parents) are in a rush to secure a spot on a “team du jour”.

[Sam]

Funny how these topics quickly turn into “bad coaches” versus “bad parents”. Who’s fault is it when a kid changes teams?

Going back to the original post’s topic – Does the lack of time off contribute to so many players moving after the fall season? I think it does. Clearly not enough time to evaluate players/coaches/teams/ or whatever you think the reason for moving is. Teams are in a rush to lock up the top players. Parents and players (mostly parents) are in a rush to secure a spot on a “team du jour”.

The problem is that the parents hold all the cards....they could force the time off....they don't....and then they complain about the choices they made. If you think that these parents aren't looking at what is out there in July, then you haven't been around long. In fact, the top teams will be recruiting rising players way before the season ends.

[Skarp]

The problem is that the parents hold all the cards....they could force the time off....they don't....and then they complain about the choices they made.

It's a classic collective action problem. If every parent forced time off, it would change the dynamic. But since each parent acts in their own perceived best interest, each scrambles to try to find a good team as quickly as possible. The same is true on the other side, as each coach tries to lock up the best talent as early as possible. If any individual parent or coach tries on his own to wait, he will lose opportunities (or opportunities for his kid in the case of the parent) and place himself at a disadvantage. So it's a race to the bottom on both sides, as everyone tries to edge out everyone else.

Collective action problems can only be solved by regulation. They are also, I would argue, basically the only justification for government...because they are the only problems that can't be solved by the market.

[Demonboy]

I am so tired of hearing that parents make decisons based on our own egos.

I'm tired of hearing about parental decisions period. I do what I think is best for my kids and couldn't give a rat's ass about 1) what other people think about it or 2) what other people decide is best for their own kids (except insofar as it impacts me and mine).

So there.

I'll third it. The parent ego card is way over played. Sometimes it's just coaches of mediocre teams and parents of mediocre players hating on those leaving their Triple Crown a$$es behind.

[coolstuff]

But since each parent acts in their own perceived best interest, each scrambles to try to find a good team as quickly as possible. The same is true on the other side, as each coach tries to lock up the best talent as early as possible. If any individual parent or coach tries on his own to wait, he will lose opportunities (or opportunities for his kid in the case of the parent) and place himself at a disadvantage. So it's a race to the bottom on both sides, as everyone tries to edge out everyone else.

Nice description of the situation. There is also another dynamic - the coach that deliberately leaves one or two spots open on the roster, and advertises it, in the hopes that an "impact player" will show up. I know this is true because some coaches have flat out told me that's what they're doing. And you know that disgruntled parents are scanning the "need a player" announcements looking for that "perfect" team they didn't get the first time.

But what's the solution? I don't have one......