Best one-liners in Softball

[wadeintothem]

I still chuckle when the blue rings a girl up and she turns to her coach and says "It was "that" far outside", and holds her hands about a foot apart - as if that's going to help!

They exagerate so much. It's rarely more than 4 or 5 inches outside when we do that.

[Bruwinfan]

One of the funniest times occured when I was coaching....two outs, runner on 1st breaks for second on a pitch with two strikes on the batter....called strike three for the third out...but the catcher threw the ball to second base (late) and the base ump is SCREAMING "she's safe, she's safe, she's safe"....the SS turns to him, points to the plate and says, "She's out, she's out, she's out"...and flips the ball to him.......

[watcher]

I used this one on my youngest DD "If your not going to swing that rocket-tech I can sell it for beer money"

[Itjustcomesnatural]

To Infieder : You from Louisiana? Cause that ball was by-you! To Outfielder : Next time you go to the Gap ...... bring me back up a Dbl X! To Ump : Hey Blue, even a broken clock is right twice a day!!!!!!!

[Bruwinfan]

One last one...when playing in an early morning, frost on the ground, colder than you know what game,, there was an issue where girls were slipping on the bases because they were so slick (both runners and fielders). To help in these unsafe conditions, the umpires decided that the girls didn't need to step on the bags, but just "get close"...(Don't you know what's coming?) Sure enough, batter tries to bunt for a hit... there's a close play at first where the second baseman comes across to first to make the play and the batter-runner tries to hit the outside bag. Both the batter-runner and the fielder miss the bag per instructions. The base ump calls the runner out because, "Even though she beat the throw the fielder got closer to the bag than the runner". Moral of the story..."close" evidently counts in more than horseshoes and hand grenades...

[texas_snowman]

Just last night at DD's High School game. A batter on the opposing team gets hit by a pitch (on her butt, nothing serious). I swear, before the ball even falls to the ground, their first base coach yells "DON'T RUB IT...DON'T YOU DARE RUB IT..THAT'S A SIGN OF WEAKNESS)...<chuckle>....and she never did. She just limped on down to first.

[ssarge]

Hey, ump:

Your seeing-eye dog is pissing all over our bats.

[umpinva]

Hey, ump:

Your seeing-eye dog is pissing all over our bats.

I heard a blue respond: Don't blame it on the dog. Your team couldn't hit water if they fell out of a boat.

[wadeintothem]

"This sign means to steal!"

Yelled across the field to a runner who apparently missed the sign the first time by that hilarious of all gold coaches, Don Ford.

Was very funny. I wish I could think of more of his stuff. Especially when he gets on an umpire; it's artistic. Most coaches dont have a clue "how to do it". He does.

[GIMNEPIWO]

"This sign means to steal!"

Yelled across the field to a runner who apparently missed the sign the first time by that hilarious of all gold coaches, Don Ford.

Was very funny. I wish I could think of more of his stuff. Especially when he gets on an umpire; it's artistic. Most coaches dont have a clue "how to do it". He does.

LMAO ! ... After giving a gal the sign 3 times to a blank inquisitive shrugging her shoulders stare, I finally just yelled suicide squeeze