Decisions....decisions

[Softballer15]

Thanks for all the comments, I think I was right for doing this, it was a decision we made together and it took us all season do it, waited for things to get better but never did.

So you have made me feel better about my decision but now, after reading your posts, I'm mad as hell that the school has allowed this to continue , they know about his behavor. In the past only one parent complains at a time it has never gone anywhere, this time, there are at least 6 parents complaining and it seems to be gaining steam. I still don't know if anything will happen but to take a girl who loves the game and make her hate it is a tragedy.

I think once the meetings start with the coach he will leave, how can he explain himself to the principle and the parents and not look like an as*hole abuser? He also thinks way to highly of himself to have to explain anything.

Again, thanks and hopefully I can report back that this has been handled by adults, like adults (unlikley).

[Softballer15]

Sorry, one more thing, I love the below quote, it so true!

"Boys need to win to feel good, girls need to feel good to win"

Thanks GIMNEPIWO.

[Sam]

Did your DD talk to the coach about the alledged abuse? Is the coach aware that he/she is engaging in behavior that you and your DD perceive to be abusive?

You might try having her stick it out....live up to the commitment she made to her teammates....but videotape the behavior and show it to the coach...might change the behavior.

If not, take the videotape to the AD.

[Softballer15]

Sam:

I don't know how many times the girls have to cry for him to see he is hurting them. I did not talk to the coach and dd is afraid of him. One parent tried to talk to him about it, he told them he won't change and if they don't like it, take their kid and leave. After one of the games while I was talking to my daughter he stood in direct sight of us and acted like he was staring me down. I did call him to tell him how she felt hoping for a meeting or some type of discussion but he hung up on me. He has a few people on the team (parents) who he talks to, they have talked to him about it, he stops for a while then he just can't control it and he gets out of control again. He has a reputation, when you tell someone your kid plays for him they just shake their head.

I took my daughter last week to an ex college pitching coach for a review, he was really impressed by her but when I told him who her coach was he said don't let him ruin her. He had a run in with my dd's coach and knows they way he is. Most people ask "why do you take it and let him get away with it"

I still don't feel right about all this, but I have to stand up and say something, everyone complains about it but they don't want to get involved or their dd's tell them not to, "hes not that bad mom" but they forget when it is that bad. Most of the parents won't go to practices anymore, they can't stand it but they want their dd's to play.

She may end up going back after the meeting, the school is setting up meetings so maybe some hope left.

[DLyle]

I'm not sure what state you are in and the rules are different in each. Some states hire teachers and expect them to coach. In Texas we hire coaches and expect them to teach. I would bring his record into question. Over the years, not just recent season. Has the team consistantly improved? When complaining about language and "antics", unless they are witnessed by other coaches and officials, it is hard to prove. The other "bullet" i would bring is how many student/athletes have left the program during his tenure? The softball parent has been labeled as the hardest to deal with in public schools for a long time, just refer to the California Board to see why. As a public school employee, I thought the same for a long while. Then my DD starting falling in Love with the sport. After I sold my bass boat to buy a new $300 BACK-UP bat, i am one them those hard to deal with parents. Anyway, the point is use factual criteria not hearsay. "He is verbaly abusive !" , can sound like sour grapes unless supported by a large number of parents.

Tell your DD to keep pitching!!
I know how hard she works

[TXfastpitchsoftball]

. . . In Texas we hire coaches and expect them to teach. . .

I know what you mean to say . . . but I beg to differ when it comes to softball. . . High school softball coaches in Texas are absolutely terrible whether it's at the 1A or 5A level. In the time that I've been involved in Texas high school softball, I have yet to personally see one high school coach that I would take over any of the travel coaches coaching a top 20 local travel team. NOT ONE!

No school board, atheletic director, community, or group of concern parents would tolerate this level of ineptiude, arrogance, inability to teach fundamentals, game management, etc. on a high school football team, and yet in softball, it's the norm rather than the exception and everyone just accepts it. Can't figure it out.

[DLyle]

Because with very few exceptions, they are Volleyball coaches. That is why the softball suffers. Another big diff between TB and HS is TB picks their kids where HS coaches who walks through the gate. My own 6th grader will have to face it also. I may have to resign from FB and coach SB!!!

[TXfastpitchsoftball]

Because with very few exceptions, they are Volleyball coaches. That is why the softball suffers. Another big diff between TB and HS is TB picks their kids where HS coaches who walks through the gate. My own 6th grader will have to face it also. I may have to resign from FB and coach SB!!!

The norm for high school coaches, including inepitude, inabilty to teach fundaments, lack of understanding of strategy & game management, yelling at kids, etc. has nothing to do with picking their players. I'm talking about the the ability perform the job they are paid for: "coaching."

Additionally, some of the 4A and 5A schools in North Texas and Houston have rosters that include 6 or 7 16u "A" and older players. From what I've witnessed, most high school coaches don't make any of these players better during the time they have with them and almost universally cause them to underperform during the high school season.

[Softballer15]

Well, I have done a lot of research and found there is a lot of this going on out there. Not really surprised but disgusted. I also discovered my dd has to sign a code of conduct but her coach does not, I found some articles on this topic and he has broken every one of the rules on the article, I will take that with me. Do the administrations really want to protect these guys.

I know us SB parents are pains in the butts but all concerns needs to be addressed.

DLyle: I have a lot of information and names of kids who won't play for him, 2 parents (out of 7 at the beginning of this) have stood up and are backing my dd on this. I have lots of emails and such from other parents stating they want to help but won't cause of fear, hate to bring that with me but I will, mark out the names I guess. Your right about the record to, this has been our best year yet, my dd pitching most of the games so it won't look so bad for him until a few losses. I know what he said in front of me and this won't be nice, it is going to get ugly and I will update after a meeting has been scheduled/had. I can say my daughter is one of a kind on her team and that has proved to be a problem (for him).

[MoeFoes]

First off, is he an ass to all the girls. Sounds like he is. So he's fair.
Second, If you are planing to go to state you must be a pretty good team. Must be a pretty good coach.
Third, By verbally abusive do you mean cursing, unprofessional comments, being too physical with the girls, or just plain ole yelling?

The majority of good coaches that I have seen in the lower levels are pretty verbal.
I've seen a coach grab a player by the face mask in 10U. I've seen a manager scream at his pitcher from the dug out in 12U. None of this I agree with. But I have been on both sides of the fense and some times the girls need a good yell as well as a bad yell but they should never be unprofessional with the girls. I like sacasm. My DD's love it...