Don't you wish??

[nsidethelines]

Don't you wish there were a site where you could be warned of troublesome parents or players? I don't mean criminals, there is already a site for that. I mean the kind of psycho's that come to a team and basically screw it up. You know what I mean, parents that "know more than the coach", question every decision, etc... THe kind of people that seem so nice, until things don't go their way. Parents that leave a team because their princess did not the play the position that they felt they should be playing, then raised all kind of hell when they did not get their way? Don't you wish there were a more formal interview process when a kid joins your team? A "softball resume", filled with coach's recommendations? Perhaps this would make the parents out there think before spewing trash from their pie hole.

Yea, I know the coaches out there will say that there is a formal interview process, but really. How many actually call the kids prior coach and ask simple questions that could save countless headaches?

[HAMMER]

I think that goes on in a lot of cases, just not advertised. The softball community seems to police its self to a certain point. If you get a reputation of jumping teams or trouble everywhere you go, the news follows fast. It is up to a coach to check out if the info about a family is correct or if it is just part of a rumor mill. You have to be careful in what to believe about what you hear because you could get bad info on a family as well.

[Ifubuildit]

Comes with the territory. If your playing for a select team and your paying for your daughter to be developed as a SS and the coach didnt do as you requested then you have a right to say something about it.

Just do it in private. Which never happens.

Likewise a coach should never promise a player a position but many do it. They just dont talk about it. I have even seen coaches who will not develop a player at a particular position due to that player going to a different HS in the same district. You wouldnt want a stud SS or Pitcher to grow up and be your DD's competition in HS would you?

Fact of the matter is you have to communicate and be clear and honest when dealing with coaches or parents. That avoids a lot of what your talking about.

[Big Dee]

I think the same can be said about some of the BIG EGO coaches.Talk the big game but always seem to fall short for one reason or another.......

[carsdad]

There are a bunch of those kind of parents and kids for that matter...you voice your side and they are still brought onto the team..then after about a month or so you can't hear out of your ear for all the bad things they do and all you can say is I TOLD YOU SO..... leave it at that or move on..

[nsidethelines]

Big Dee, you might be on to something. Seems like no one minds talking about the coaches though.

[Love_the_Game]

Comes with the territory. If your playing for a select team and your paying for your daughter to be developed as a SS and the coach didnt do as you requested then you have a right to say something about it.

Just do it in private. Which never happens.

Likewise a coach should never promise a player a position but many do it. They just dont talk about it. I have even seen coaches who will not develop a player at a particular position due to that player going to a different HS in the same district. You wouldnt want a stud SS or Pitcher to grow up and be your DD's competition in HS would you?

Fact of the matter is you have to communicate and be clear and honest when dealing with coaches or parents. That avoids a lot of what your talking about.

I agree. It all comes down to communication. If you contact a coach and are up front, tell them what you are looking for, what position your daughter plays and they make an offer for her to play with that team. And then, somewhere along the way you realize she no longer plays that position, it creates a bad situation for the coach, for the family and expecially the athlete. I don't think "most" coaches intend to dissappoint the athlete or her family, but without up front, effective communication regarding expectations on both sides, you will be in a no win situation. Ultimately either the athlete will leave the team or will have a hard time not speaking out and creating ill will among the families. Effective communication is a very important skill that many coaches lack, or at least don't recognize it's importance.

[knucklecurve]

I couldn't agree more with some of the recent comments. The best communication practice that I have seen be effective for a coach is to inform the parents that we will work on a player playing the position of their choice, as well as teach them how to play other positions but the consistant factor or message is and should always be that the only gaurantee is that there is no gaurantee. A coaches true responsibilty is to put the players in positions that best help the team to win. I have noticed how many parents want there child to play SS or in the infield, but at the end of the day some just don't have what it takes fielding wise, or they are to fast to not utilize them in the outfield. Once they have a taste of success and the parents begin to realize the impotance of outfield play, things can really start clicking for a club. Communication is the moral of this story.

[SnocatzDad]

I think the same can be said about some of the BIG EGO coaches.Talk the big game but always seem to fall short for one reason or another.......

You can easily see this by watching how a coach conducts themselves in a game. IME the big Ego's never take a holiday and will demonstrate thier brilliance on a consistant game to game basis. PLus they will be quick to tell you how they made this and that kid great (rarely credit the kid's talent adn work ethic).

On the parent side, you don't know what your in for until the first time they approach you in a parking lot after a game to give you a piece of their mind.

Like Hammer says, people in organizations do talk and word gets around fast about a psycho parent and unfortunately it can really impact a kids opportunities. Reality is that if a travel coach thinks your parents are borderline psycho, no college coach will put up with half of what a travel coach might as far as crap so your not doing a kid any favors by not letting a parent know when they are out of line and that they need to modify their behavior if they want to stay with the team. IMO That's why someone mentioned 18G coaches not putting up with it. It's not that they are so high and mighty, they know they it could impact their college pipeline if they pass on a player that has parental issues to a college program and the college coach doesn't appreciate them not getting screened out.

[tex]

Most parents walk around with blinders on. Other people can see that no matter how much money and time you spend your dd will never be a pitcher or never be a short stop, but the dd may have the speed and eye to be a great outfieder or the glove to be a 1st basement.

Coaches should never lie or mislead a parent about what position their dd will get the practise and play time at. Tell them up front that you will give the dd the opportunity at the desired position(s) but if their abilities show they are better suited at another position that will benefit the team then that is where they most likely will end up. If the parent(s) cannot live with this they need to take their dd else where because their will be 0 tolerance if the dd comes on board and the parent(s) start complaining.

As many of you have seen, great ball players end up out of the game because coaches will not tolerate abusive or unruley parents. Parents should realize that this is about the dd and not about their want to be and their ego. Please let the girls play!!