wadeintothem wrote:Today we salute you Mr. Strike Zone Excuse Maker Whiner Guy.
Without you, a blue like me could not count on you to breed for me a DD who accounts for 3-4 of my 42 or less outs I must earn every game.
And when your beloved DD's short few years of travel ball are over, and shes gone on and shacked up with Bobby Joe in a trailer, I again thank you Mr. Strike Zone Excuse Maker whiner guy.
Without you breeding the perfect waitress, after a rough weekend on the road and at the ball park, us umpires would have to eat that horrible grape jelly. Instead we have your DD who will bring us the strawberry jelly packet. We count on her to bring us our steak and eggs. We count on her to bring us that extra chocolate shake in the big metal cup.
So crack open that bud light, Mr. Strike Zone Excuse Maker whiner guy.
You are an integral part of an umpires life. We thank you for the outs and we thank you for the perfect waitress.
So let's see... every guy who ever complained about the strike zone is raising pregnant waitresses? Everyone from wreck ball to Little League and all the way up to every manager who has ever won the World Series? I'm sure Tommy Lasorda would be shocked to discover where is daughter is now! And geez, that's a lot of pregnant girls in a lot of diners serving tons of umpires!
Hey, rather than waitresses, maybe we should be calling them
wadetresses!!
And instead of leaving them money when we're done eating, we could give them a tip with some value, like "Swing at anything close", because even a fool knows that ball four is only ball four when the umpire isn't preoccupied with earning his outs, then rushing to the nearest diner for strawberry jelly packets and chocolate shake dribbles.
On second thought, they'd be further ahead with the money, because they've been getting that same advice from their coaches at every level since they started playing the game, and yet, every weekend, they are still getting called out by the thousands. Boyo boy, that's a lot of strawberry jelly packets getting earned out there! Hard to believe there is enough bread out there to put them all on.
Okay, that's it for my response to the beer ad parody.
I can't help but wonder, Wade, given your apparently near-apocalyptic view of the future of the young ladies playing travel ball, why you would be involved in the sport at all?
FYI, I'm replying here because the beer commercial above may have been inspired in part by a thread I started called The Strike Zone, which wasn't whining or complaining. When my DD is pitching she's happy to have an ump with a wide strike zone. When she's hitting she's happy to have an ump with a tight strike zone. Either way, she's happy, so why would I complain?
It was merely an off the cuff thought to get some feedback on the strike zone variance and was not intended to piss off any umpires. I was hoping that a few umps might come on and explain their approach to calling balls and strikes.
In my view, there's nothing wrong with an ump with a wide zone, and nothing wrong with an ump with a tight zone. It helps when they are consistent, and when we (coaches and players, I don't know about parents) talk about good umps, it's not about where the zone is, but how consistent the blue is calling that zone.
So I really don't understand why the blues on here blew a fuse over the question. There's no need to be so gosh darn defensive about it, it was only a question. And to be completely honest, Wade, with your experience and expertise, I honestly thought you might provide an interesting perspective. Maybe, now that I've explained that my question was in no way an attack on umpires, you still will.
And I just realized how long this post is and fear I may be suffering from a severe case of Skarpitis. Gotta go!