Pitching videos: Hillhouse, Parker or other recs

[DonnieS]

>> as you well know at 13 they know everything about pitching and everything else. It's a constant battle with us I dont know about anybody else but if we dont argue about something its because she's not home <<

No sxxx. If I had a towel handy, I would throw it in.

[catdad]

You mean I'm not the only one who has from the bucket discussions that end by me saying, "FIne just throw your way and next time we see your pitching coach he can tell you the same thing and then we will change it"!!!!!!!!

Seriously though it is a delicate balance between pushing them to their limit and yet keeping it fun. You've really got to pay attention and read your DD and know when to lighten up and when to bear down. I see some dads that take all the fun out of it for their kids because they live and die on every pitch their DD throws. They're kids playing a game and hopefully they have more good days than bad, and ruining a relationship is not worth a game. So train them to play hard, dream big, and enjoy the game.

[DonnieS]

Seriously though it is a delicate balance between pushing them to their limit and yet keeping it fun. .

I should be given an honorary PHD in that exact thing. Now, I am wore out dealing with every f thing is more important than the one thing that will ensure that she can go to school where ever she wants - no big deal to tell the vball coach she will stay and work an extra hour on her jump serves or her digs or whatever. We all know that the college volleyball coaches are beating the bushes looking for 5 foot 5 recruits to give full rides to. Doug Finch sometime back told me that he forced Jenny to do her windmill exercise each morning before she goes to school - I am now doing the same thing and throwing in - Give me your cell phone until its done. She gets very high grades but I have seen one heck of a lot of valedictorians and salutatorians (sp) that got handed that special ribbon on grad night and that was it. I know very well what the softball skills will get you along with the smarts I know she has. But hey, dad is a dumbass and doesnt know sxxx.

[Texas19]

Man I'm glad I'm not the only one dealing with that kind of crap. Hey maybe somebody should put out a video on dealing with DD's attitude and mood changes. Now that would be a money maker, any of those out there?

[DonnieS]

Spazdad, you got it. I overheard my grandmother talking to one of my aunts about kid problems, probably sometime in the 50's, grandma had had 14 kids, 10 were left, she had been through childhood deaths, war deaths, typhus, all kinds of stuff. She said "Boys, you keep a heavy hand on them, every day when they go out to work in the fields, and then who knows what afterward, you just lay awake and pray they come home alive. Girls, when they turn 14, you put them in a cage and dont open the damn thing until they hit 22."

I used to think she was an evil old lady, not anymore.

[Tucson]

DD and I used to go through the same thing. I remember one day, I was up at the dugout trying to get her to drink water (I know I am evil). I was complaining to a friend about DD mouthing off and she said in all seriousness "You shouldn't let her talk to you that way."

Well, guess what happened to her own DD? She was caught drinking at homecoming and was off the team.

We don't cuss each other, but people comment that we must not be getting along. ?? We are talking. I don't notice anything else.

My boys were 100% easier to get along with.

[Sparky Guy]

I've been reading everything that's been posted here and I'm scratching my head. Let me explain why. My daughter graduated college last spring. She paid her way through school pitching. She saved us WAY more in tuition and other things she received than I spent on her entire travel softball career. I had very few of issues you're writing about.

I've been through the mill with my daughter and learned a lot about myself, her, and the female athlete mindset over the years. When my daughter showed an interest in pitching I knew I had no clue how to teach her. I was lucky enough to find a college girl who won an ASA 18A national tournament to start teaching her. I was able find a program that produced some of the top pitchers in our area for her to play in. It was there where I learned a lot about pitching, but more importantly, the correct mindset it takes to be a pitcher. Here's what I learned.

From the VERY outset it is made clear that the responsibility for learning how to pitch rests 100% on the player. You are just a tool for them to use. It is a privilege that she is learning how to pitch and you (mom/dad) are there giving up your time when you could be doing something else for yourself. It is made clear that learning how to pitch is a year round commitment. Position players can play other sports, pitchers CAN'T!!!!! Let me rephrase that. Successful pitchers don't play other sports. There are social things that are given up when learning how to pitch. There are several others but you get the gist. If the girl has the desire she is not too young at 11 years old to understand what it takes to be the best.

I've worked with a number of girls over the years and I can tell the ones who'll quit and the ones who'll make it within a very short time. The first thing I do is have a very firm talk with girl and the parent(s). I make it absolutely clear to the girl that her parent is here for them to help them. I make sure they understand they are not to argue with them and an attitude will NEVER be put up with by me. I address them like they are an adult and I don't talk down or dumb it down to them. I tell them if it was easy everyone would be a pitcher, so it takes work. I make it clear what the expectations are and they need to be working on their pitching a minimum of 2 -3 times a week. Even during the season. The other thing is. I am brutally honest with them. If they are being lazy or just going through the motions I let them know in no uncertain terms what I see wrong. (Kids have very few problems with honesty when it's coupled with correction, not criticism.)

Parents are a whole different issue. I put the responsibility of learning the pitching motion on them. I tell them they must understand what's going on and what to look for so they can help their daughter when they are working out alone. I also make it clear that learning how to pitch is not a steady climb. Rather, it's a series of forward and backward steps that make up the pitching learning process. I make the parents understand it's not easy doing this. A simple example is to have them untie and tie their shoes. Then tell them untie and tie the knots backwards. It's fun to watch them struggle with it. Then once their daughters have the basics mastered I have the parents try and pitch to me. It's good for a laugh. The hardest thing for the parents and the kids is to learn how to separate parenting from coaching.

The key is to set the rules and expectations right from the start and they do not change. They might bend slightly, but they must always return to where they were. Also NEVER lower the bar, especially if they are struggling with something. The opposing team won't. If you've lost control then you need to wrest it back. The way to do that is to giver her choices that you define. No let's make a deal. My BIGGEST pet peeve is parents letting their kids get over committed. Again, define the priories and work from there.

Sorry for the long read, but I thought I'd share my 14 years of experience with my own daughter as well the time spent with other girls who range in age from 6 to 17.

[DonnieS]

I've been reading everything that's been posted here and I'm scratching my head. Let me explain why. My daughter graduated college last spring. She paid her way through school pitching. She saved us WAY more in tuition and other things she received than I spent on her entire travel softball career. I had very few of issues you're writing about.

My BIGGEST pet peeve is parents letting their kids get over committed. Again, define the priories and work from there.

Sorry for the long read, but I thought I'd share my 14 years of experience with my own daughter as well the time spent with other girls who range in age from 6 to 17.

Sparky Guy, thanks this is so helpful for us wannabees from the been-there-done-that and have the t-shirt people. So many of the decisions we have made along this path, for my pitching dd, have been made with help from people like you.

Do we understand you to say, that your dd has done nothing but play softball/pitch, has not played other sports all the way through?

My kid does do her pitching year around and I hear from people just as experienced as you about 'overuse injuries' and from college coaches about how important it is to be multi-sports trained in order to develop the all-around athlete that the colleges I (and I hope my dd) am interested in. I hear how important it is to take time off, etc. though I cant buy into that for pitchers. Even during the intensity of other varsity sports, the requirements are 3 times a week pitching work outs and daily workout on the finch windmill in addition to her own set of designed workouts each night after home work (crunchs, situps, pushups, run-in-place).

This year, she has given up tennis , and just a week ago, gave up basketball, after finding out that she was most likely going to varsity (she's a freshman) and finding out the basketball coach would not 'share' her with the high school pitching instructor twice a week during the bb season. My aggravation with her doing vball and doing her usual over-work (staying after etc etc) is tempered by the fact that she is working on other sports, making other use of those muscles and hopefully avoided the 'over-use' injuries.

Again thanks for your experience, this kid turns 15 next month, has been pitching since she was 8 and has average 145 games a year ... for 5 years.

[Sparky Guy]

Do we understand you to say, that your dd has done nothing but play softball/pitch, has not played other sports all the way through?

I was fortunate. She figured it out early on her own just how much work it takes to be successful pitcher, she never played any other sports at school. The HS she attended has 5,000 kids in it. The competition is fierce for every sport. Most of the kids specialize and play one sport. They have to by necessity. There were nearly 120 girls who tried out for the freshman, soph, and varsity teams. All the kids on the varsity team played travel ball. My daughter and several of them played travel at a very high level. The HS teams they played against, most were all travel ball kids. 8 of girls she's played with and against have played in the WCWS in the last four years. One is playing in the NPF right now.

You say your daughter is a freshman. It's time to pick a sport that will give her the biggest advantage with the college of her choice. It'll help pay for it or open doors when there are very few openings. She needs to decide if softball is going to be the sport she pursues in college. Once she does that then it's time to cut the others and devote all her energy to learning as much about the game as possible.

With the current recruiting climate you need to start contacting college coaches when your daughter is in her freshman year to get on their radar. Coaches are spending their scholarship money two and three years out now. You must get to them before they spend it. It's the reality of the sport today. There are too many good athletes vying for the little bit of money there is.

We're in a cold weather state. As for time off. My daughter would take 4-6 weeks off of pitching starting in October to give her body a chance to recover. She would still hit and work out, but no pitching. I have a couple of girls who are swimming and one does cross country to keep in shape. There many other things a pitcher can do to work out. Remember, the HS coach may not have a clue about the sport they are coaching. They can be a teacher making some extra cash. Especially in girls sports. I doubt it's that way for football by you.

There is an old saying that is very true and I'm sure you've heard it before. "Jack of all trades. Master of none." There are very, very few who can perform multiple sports at a high level.

You mentioned your daughter is 5' 5". That is on the smaller side for a pitcher. My daughter was 5' 10" throwing 64 mph and could make the ball move in all four directions. It was still a struggle. The hitters are getting better. The bats are juiced. The NCAA shrunk the strike zone last year. Many college fields are 190 down the line. It's getting harder and harder to be successful in the circle.

[DonnieS]

Do we understand you to say, that your dd has done nothing but play softball/pitch, has not played other sports all the way through?

I was fortunate. She figured it out early on her own just how much work it takes to be successful pitcher, she never played any other sports at school. The HS she attended has 5,000 kids in it. The competition is fierce for every sport.

You mentioned your daughter is 5' 5". That is on the smaller side for a pitcher. My daughter was 5' 10" throwing 64 mph and could make the ball move in all four directions. It was still a struggle. The hitters are getting better. The bats are juiced. The NCAA shrunk the strike zone last year. Many college fields are 190 down the line. It's getting harder and harder to be successful in the circle.

The fortunate thing for her is that her older sister and teammate will be signing her NLI with what I would call a top D1 next month and she is on that school's radar. Agree with you about the size - but she is still growing and has a couple of 6 foot cousins, so who knows. Her sisters are 5.9 and 5.7 and she is a couple of inches taller than both of them when they were freshman. She is also as very good fielder, she loves the game, she loves fielding, batting, base running, and she loves pitching most of all. A few months back we played and won a 10 inning game, 4 itb innings, on the way back to the hotel that night she said 'This is why I will always love softball more than anything, I love being in the circle with everything depending on me, on how I do my job, there is nothing else like it in all the sports I play.'