Parental Support, or is it?

[MTR]

Mom and Dad had to sacrifice attending a lot of DD's friendlies and practices (Hard to do). DD had to sacrifice having Mom and Dad there all the time (Very hard to do).

This comment from another post made me think of something that is talked about, but not always opening.

Do you think it is necessary to be at every minute of your DDs practices and games, or do you attend to show your daughter your support?

While there is no doubt that the dedication to the players and financial support given the team is what keeps organizations afloat, are there times coaches feel the parents can be a distraction and rather the parents not be in attendance?

How many parents are more the driving force in a girl's participation and dedication than the player themselves?

There is no doubt that some parents use youth sports as a babysitter while others insist on being by their DDs side, breathing the same air, on a minute-by-minute basis.

Parents coming to support and observe are obviously great for the team and players. But what about the parents who seem to feel the need to interject themselves into the coaching and criticism of their DD's, but never have time for the team in general? How about the parents whose closest encounter with the team is dropping their DD off in the parking lot?

Is there a happy medium? What do you consider it to be?

[coolstuff]

Do you think it is necessary to be at every minute of your DDs practices and games, or do you attend to show your daughter your support?

I think it's necessary to have at least one parent at games, but I do understand that sometimes a parent can't be at every game, especially single parents with more than one child. I have taken girls to games, even had one stay in our hotel room, because their single parent couldn't be there for an entire tournament. I know that DD wants us there, and misses us if one or both of us can't make it. From what I've heard DD and some of her teammates in both TB and school sports say, they do want their parents in the stands, and miss them if they're not there, even tho they might not say so directly to their parents.

But myself and the wife are sorta sports nuts. When DD played JV volleyball this fall, we stayed and watched the varsity game even tho DD was riding the team bus back to the school. The varsity coach even made a point to thank us for cheering for the varsity even tho we didn't have a daughter on the team. (brownie points!)

Practices are different. Until this year I've been an assistant coach so naturally I'm right there, but not so with this year's team. I don't always stick around to watch if I have some errands to run, and when I don't have anything better to do, sometimes I just chat with other parents or read a magazine or something. Sometimes I get asked to run a pitching machine or shag balls. DD has asked me to watch her hitting lessons so I can help her during games. Now that her hitting coach and team coach are the same guy, she hasn't asked for my opinion much.

[Tucson]

If it weren't for predators, I would say that it isn't necessary for a parent to be at practices. Heck, my parents owned a business, they never even knew when my games were. But, unfortunately, times change. I sometimes couldn't watch a practice because I had 3 kids, but the coach never really knew when I might be in the parking lot, either.

But with HS basketball, I didn't go stand in the gym. So , you have to try to strike a happy medium.

[GIMNEPIWO]

MTR sez:
"There is no doubt that some parents use youth sports as a babysitter while others insist on being by their DDs side, breathing the same air, on a minute-by-minute basis."

Very true ... but you are forgetting the Parents who are living vicariously through their kids participation in sports ... possibly the most dangerous and damaging ...

TUSCON sez:
"If it weren't for predators," & "Heck, my parents owned a business, they never even knew when my games were"

Coyotes? Wolves? or Pervs ... I guess it really is age dependent ... the kids need a little breathing room as they get older, but are more understanding if the Parents aren't there ... I missed alot of games as a Parent , none as a Coach ... but all the games that we missed as Parents were because we own a business ... very tough & painful decision at the time and in hindsight ... When I'm not Coaching them my DD's don't want me watching the practice ... can't say as I blame them ...

[Killer Rabbit]

I think that if we were never there, then it would be a problem for DD. Like I posted, we miss practices and friendlies when it's not our turn to take the girls. We do not miss actual tournaments (One or both parents go) and we do not miss the friendlies the DD's team hosts (Bodies to help with the work are more important than "buying out")

We also have a 10 year old son who does the whole competitive karate tournament thing. My wife and I do the parent rotation so that one of us can be with each kid for support, and "just incase".

MTR this is a great post. Thanks

[aubsdad#6]

Is it parental support?? YES
I go to all the practices and games I can make,
Do I enjoy seeing the smile on her face when she does well, YES
Do I understand the importance of having GOOD friends , the peer
presure they have at this age, and how this sport gives them confidence
and self esteem YES
Do I see her working through it when she has a bad game, because there
is alot she is going to have to work through in life YES
Is it parental support ? Yes, just like when we are supporting her in keeping
her grades up.
Kind of a heavy post but I've seen the problems that come when parents don't
support the kids.

[thetruth]

Parent support is very important but I feel it is more important at the younger age group.
From 8's through 14's my daughter always wanted me their and by 16's she still wanted me there but I didn't think it was as important to her. Every kid is different, I have seen kids at 12's play much better when mom and dad were not around and the kids seemed happier. All I can say is enjoy it why you can the ride comes to a sudden stop.

[Demonboy]

If it weren't for predators, I would say that it isn't necessary for a parent to be at practices. Heck, my parents owned a business, they never even knew when my games were. But, unfortunately, times change. I sometimes couldn't watch a practice because I had 3 kids, but the coach never really knew when I might be in the parking lot, either.

But with HS basketball, I didn't go stand in the gym. So , you have to try to strike a happy medium.

Times haven't changed all that much. There were predators when you were playing. What has changed is access to information and awareness.

[NORCALGOLD]

You are one of the over bearing parents we are talking about if :
1. you think there is a predator around every corner waiting to snatch your kid
2.you are a pitchers parent and you live and die by every pitch she makes
3.you critique every swing at every bat and are yelling out batting tips
4.you hover (smother )your kid ,with advice,info ,criticism on every detail during and after a game so she can't just enjoy playing a simple game of softball and enjoy her win or digest her loss.
5.You have a coach for every aspect of the game hitting ,fielding,running,pitching ,conditioning, ect.ect.ect. 4,5 and 6 days a week and you don't let her think of anything else other than softball.
6.You can't sit back an enjoy that your at a ballfield watching your DD play softball instead of having to be at a dance recital.
Remember two of the biggest reasons kids play sports is :
1. for their parents approval
2. for the love of the game and the competition.
None of the top 6 reasons do they play for.

[dittoz]

I go to virtually every one of my kids softball and baseball games because my parents rarely did at any age.
I go to their practices because my parents never did.
I encouraged them at a young age to play because my parents never did.

Yes, I have issues with my parents and childhood, but I truly believe that once they quit playing because we wanted them to and started playing because they had fun and they were good, my kids enjoy it when we're there. We're not the hovering "helicopter" parents, but we stay involved with the travel team in practices and fund-raising and we stay entirely away and in the stands with the high school BB team, as the coach asks.

I despise the parents who slow down and push the kids out as they go by...